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At least there’s always a cat there at 2 a.m., keeping watch while the doomscrolling continues. Sleep might be gone, but companionship is guaranteed, usually in the form of loud purring, judgmental stares, or someone sitting directly on the phone. If the night is going to be sleepless anyway, it might as well be shared with a cat who clearly has nowhere else to be.
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It may not look like it, but these are peak operating hours. While the rest of the world sleeps, this is when the energy is highest, the zoomies are strongest, and the most important cat business gets done. Nighttime is not chaos, it’s productivity, confidence, and purpose. Humans may be tired, but the cats are exactly where they’re meant to be.
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This is the ultimate struggle: not sleeping because you’re on the phone, but also being on the phone because sleep simply isn’t happening. The minutes blur together, the screen keeps glowing, and the cat is wide awake too, like moral support you didn’t ask for. It’s a perfect loop of exhaustion and scrolling, where bedtime is theoretical and morning arrives far too quickly.
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