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Meet Captain Chitters, the tiniest superhero you never knew you needed, patrolling the treetops in a cape fashioned from a very dramatic autumn leaf. By day, he’s a humble nut enthusiast - by night, he’s the Acorn Avenger, sworn to protect every snack from rolling tragically into storm drains. With lightning-fast tail flicks and parkour worthy of at least three Marvel movies, he rescues stranded birdseed, returns runaway peanuts to their rightful pockets, and leaves motivational acorns on windowsills like wholesome little fortunes. His sidekick is a blue jay intern who is paid entirely in sunflower seeds and gossip. Captain Chitters’ greatest power is his ability to pause for the perfect tiny-pawed high-five, reminding everyone that even small heroes can make a big squeak in the world. Sure, sometimes he forgets where he buried his treasure stash, but he always finds friendship instead - and maybe a bonus walnut. Citizens report that morale has risen 300% since his arrival, mostly because it’s impossible to be sad while a caped squirrel zooms past like a fuzzy, airborne comma.
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