24 Secret Santa Posts for Anyone Currently Regretting Their Participation in the Office Gift Exchange

We have officially entered the most dangerous phase of the corporate calendar: the Secret Santa window. It starts with a seemingly innocent sign-up sheet in the breakroom and ends with you standing in the middle of a Target at 9 p.m., staring at a row of festive mugs and wondering if your coworker actually likes aromatherapy or if they're secretly allergic to everything. It is a high-stakes social experiment designed to test exactly how much you can learn about a person you've only ever spoken to about the quarterly goals.

There's also a special kind of anxiety that comes with the $20 price limit. If you spend $15, you look like a Scrooge; if you spend $25, you've broken the sacred contract of the cubicle. The goal isn't necessarily to give the best gift. It's to give a gift that won't be immediately regifted at the next company party.

We've all been there, trying to act surprised when we open a box of chocolate-covered pretzels that we saw sitting on the back seat of the gifter's car that morning. It's a beautiful, awkward, and entirely unnecessary tradition that we all participate in anyway because the alternative is being the office pariah.

I actually had an office gift exchange this year that turned into a full-blown power play. We did a White Elephant, and since I drew number one, I was granted the ultimate authority: the right to steal whatever I wanted at the very end. While everyone else was fighting over generic gift cards and gadgets they’d never use, I had my eyes on the prize. I walked away with a collection of propagated succulents, which, for plant people, is basically the equivalent of winning the lottery. There is no greater feeling than wielding total office gift-giving power and going home with something that actually breathes.
If you are currently sweating over a gift bag or trying to figure out how to look genuinely thrilled about a desk calendar, these posts are for you. Take a break from the shopping stress and remember that in the world of Secret Santa, it really is the hilarious thought that counts.
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