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There was a brief, glorious window in the 1980s when watches weren't trying to be luxury statements, fitness trackers, or subtle status symbols. They were toys. They beeped, blinked, played games, picked up FM radio stations, and occasionally had movie characters slapped right on the face for absolutely no reason. And it ruled.
Back then, strapping something to your wrist didn't mean tracking sleep cycles or closing rings. It meant you might be carrying a tiny video game, a sci-fi fantasy, or a fully licensed Rambo product that existed purely on vibes. Casio led the charge, obviously, turning watches into miniature arcades with pixel characters running, jumping, and occasionally being eaten by cats. Star Wars watches let C-3PO tell you the time. Some models straight-up had antennas. Others came with wired earbuds so you could pretend you were a cyberpunk DJ waiting for the bus.
These watches weren't subtle. They were plastic, loud, and unapologetically joyful. They existed to make kids feel like the future was already here, and that the future was weird, colorful, and kind of ridiculous.
Today's watches are impressive, sleek, and very serious about your heart rate. But sometimes you look at a modern smartwatch and think, sure… but can it play a game about a mouse stealing cheese?
Exactly.