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Employee resents contributing to office gifts in workplace with high turnover, looks for a way to avoid it: 'I've contributed to over 10 birthdays'

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  • an out of focus woman sitting down and wearing business attire receives a wrapped gift from a man wearing business attire
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  • I'm sick of financially contributing to employees birthdays, end of employment and now the passing of a parent.

    I've been at my job for 3 years in a department with high turn over. I've contributed to well over 10 birthdays, going away party's and now management is suggesting we get a card and gift for a colleague who isn't even in our department but work closely with, whose father passed away.
  • a man in a suit gives a woman sat next to him a gift as she looks grateful
  • I'm so sick of it. I'm here to work and I'm not interested in giving money to any of these events.
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  • I don't even tell my department when my birthday is and when I do leave, I surely won't be participating in a going away and don't want a gift.
  • How do I back out of this crap without seeming like a prick?
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  • a man wearing business casual attire and holding a wrapped gift walks up behind a woman sitting at a computer
  • Key-Ingenuity-534 "Sorry, it's not in my budget right now" is a perfectly acceptable and polite way to decline.
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  • eyerishdancegirl7 This stuff isn't mandatory. We've gotten cards for people retiring, leaving, weddings, new babies, death of a parent, etc. When the card comes across your desk, just don't sign it? Managers should always ask about donating money in a way that it isn't mandatory. For example, "we'll have a piggy bank on my desk if you'd like to contribute". You don't have to donate if it's not something you can afford.
  • Extra-Blueberry-4320 That's nothing. We had 2 employees get killed onsite in an accident. HR asked us to donate to their families even though the company was technically responsible. I was like...no.
  • CreamedCh33ze I had a job where this guy passed an envelope around asking for donations to his kids private school tuition. I laughed my ass off and just said "Your child's education is neither my concern nor financial obligation"
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  • canada11235813 Around here, management (me) pays for a card. It makes the rounds, where everyone signs it. Once a month, little party, cake, gifts (from me) for everyone in the birthday month. Nobody has to pay for anything. But what's interesting is how this culture has created an environment where people, when not forced to, will voluntarily show up with something. A box of doughnuts, a box of muffins, a bag of premium coffee, pastries... once or twice a week, someone will do that, without bei
  • Long DistRid3r When I had a heart attack, my team gave me a big DoorDash gift card. That carried me until I could get my feet under me again, When my wife died the team took care of me. They made sure I was fed. My manager checked on me daily. It's this kind of humanity that breeds loyalty. Sadly that loyalty was not reciprocated. But I will always have fond memories and respect for the team.
  • just321askin - Same birthdays, retirements, illnesses, funerals etc. been here over a decade and have spent hundreds of dollars on other people and have never been gifted anything from anybody my entire time here - because I keep my birthday and family matters private and I don't sympathy-farm like my colleagues do. However, the minute you say "sorry, not in my budget" is the minute all your coworkers mark you as "not a team player" at best, or a cheap asshole at worst.
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  • Regular-Humor-9128 Management should be covering the full cost of any gift given on behalf of employees, especially for something like a death in the family. It could also be seen as misuse of power for management to be asking/recommending to their employees who are under them, to give money for something of this nature.
  • r200james I once worked in a similar situation which also included Girl Scout Cookies, school raffles, church raffles, and other insipid junk. I grew to resent the 'Be Nice Tax'. I started to just smile say 'No thank you'. It was awkward at first. But then a couple other people also started saying no. Some coworkers thought I was a jerk. But such expectations to 'chip in' are intrusive and unprofessional.
  • BunBun_75 What about the parents fundraising for their kids activities? That's equally annoying

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