‘I certainly made mistakes and a lot of them, but I did my best’: Daughter blames her failed relationships and bad behavior on her dad’s parenting, and his defensive reaction ends up driving the family apart

This story shows what happens when two painful truths collide. A father hears his adult daughter tell him that childhood trauma from his mistakes shaped her bad relationships and behavior. She is right that parents leave deep marks on their children. They are our first mirror, the blueprint for how we see love, safety, and conflict. But she is also wrong if she believes that mirror decides her whole life. At some point, we all have to stop blaming old pain for new decisions. Healing is personal work, not a courtroom.

The father cannot absorb the criticism without turning defensive. Instead of meeting her honesty with empathy, he throws back awkward logic about focusing on positives. It sounds dismissive. She pushes harder, he feels attacked, and ego takes control. Within days, what began as one uncomfortable talk becomes a family implosion. His anger makes him threaten her stability in the worst way possible by saying she can leave the house. The moment crushes everything around it.

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AITAH For destroying my relationship with my Daughter and ending my marriage?

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There is real accountability for both sides here. He needs to own his role in the damage, but she needs to grow past being defined by it. Love does not survive when people cling to being right more than being kind. Parents can do their best and still fail. Children can suffer and still be responsible for what comes next. Two things can be true, and until both accept that, they will keep trading pain instead of understanding. Grow up, together or apart.
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