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    20-year-old refuses to be legal guardian of her 4, 5, and 7-year-old half siblings in the event of her mom and stepdad's passing: 'I would be a bad fit for the role'

    Author image for Emmy Pratt
    Emmy Pratt • Writer and Editor
    Oct 18, 2025 8:00 PM EDT

    She is way too young and inexperienced to take that on, and nobody older and more experienced than her will step up.

    When I was a kid, I didn't know a darn thing about the Catholic faith, and I thought that someone being a "Godparent" meant that they would take care of their godchild in the event of their parents' passing. The concept of a godparent only being a spiritual guide for their godchild did not register with me. 

    There is a vast difference between spiritually guiding a child, serving as the main family babysitter, and taking on the full responsibilities of parenthood. The latter is something you should not take lightly, even if the parents in question are young, healthy, and very unlikely to both pass away. It's not the kind of thing you should hastily agree to just because you were asked and you fear there's nobody else who will take on the responsibility. You don't want hypothetical childless kids to end up in foster care, but you also don't want to agree to care for them when you yourself are not fit to do so. 

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    • Female portrait in front of ornate doors looking at camera
      via Getty Images (Unsplash+)

      Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

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    • The young woman in this story is at the end of a long list of family members and friends who could hypothetically take care of her mom and stepdad's three kids in the event of their passing. That being said, she does not think she's the right fit for the job, and her stepdad has a real problem with that.

    • Am I wrong for telling my mom I'm unwilling to be my half siblings guardian if something happens to her and her husband before they turn 18?

      I (20f) have three half siblings (7, 5 and 4) from my mom's second marriage. My dad died when I was 8 and my mom has started to consider the fact something could happen to her and her husband before my half siblings reach 18. She talked to him and they wrote out a list of people to talk to about this. It went my
      via u/Goldyiaugh
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    • grandparents, her husband's parents, my aunt, uncle and other aunt and then her husband's brother. None of them were willing/able to say yes to taking them in. My mom also asked her cousin who she has a good relationship but she told her she couldn't do it with her own already large family.
      via u/Goldyiaugh
    • A mom and four kids sitting on a couch with a dog
      via Brooke Cagle (Unsplash+)

      Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

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    • I was the last person on the list. My mom told me this as well. She said she knew it was a big ask but everyone else said no. She told me they would be setting aside money for that possible outcome and she knew I was young and everything but she really wanted
      via u/Goldyiaugh
    • to be sure they'd be taken care of. I told her I wasn't willing to do it either. My mom asked me if there was anything she could offer, or promise, that would make me reconsider. I told her no and I said I would be a bad fit for the role anyway.
      via u/Goldyiaugh
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    • My mom was really disappointed but she accepted my answer. Her husband wanted to know why I refused and I told him I would be a bad fit for it and that's all they needed to know. He told me I should be agreeing for the simple fact nobody else in either family is willing and they could end up in foster care.
      via u/Goldyiaugh
    • 2 boys and a girl sitting on grass field with bluebonnets during daytime
      via Micah Tindell

      Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

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    • My mom said they would need to look through friends to see if anyone would be willing to agree. Her husband is still looking for me to justify it and apparently has not put that same energy into anyone else they asked. So I don't think that's cool. But his big issue is that I'd say no at all. AITAH?
      via u/Goldyiaugh
    • Junior-Trade5338 The parents should mention the multimillion dollar life insurance policy they have which will go to those who take the kids. I'm sure some family members could find it in their heart then.
      via u/Junior-Trade5338
    • Guinevere 1991 Financial aspects of the guardianship should have been part of the parents' discussion. Unlikely that there would be multi millions in insurance, but the guardians would need to know what sums. would be available to care for the children.
      via u/Guinevere1991
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    • Upstairs Whole_580 If you have 3 kids, you should have at least a couple million of life insurance. I have a 7.5M insurance policy, my wife has 10M. I don't know... if you're this serious about planning for their future, you should have at least 2M for each parent.... IMO.
      via u/Upstairs_Whole_580
    • hungry_bra1n The bigger issue is why everyone is saying no.
      via u/hungry_bra1n
    • smileycat007 Probably because there are three of them, TBH.
      via u/smileycat007
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    • bettertitsthanu NTA Your siblings are not your responsibility. You didn't choose to have them. Every time I see parents forcing older children to parent their siblings it infuriates me. This is not your responsibility and they shouldn't make you feel bad about it. I'm sorry you lost your dad so young.
      via u/bettertitsthanu
    • Goldyiaugh OP My mom eventually came to accept it once she realized there was no reassurance that would change my mind. I understand why she asked and wanted to hear yes so bad. But her husband only became forceful with me for a better or more detailed answer which I find funny.
      via u/Goldyiaugh
    • TerriDiA Stepfather wants a chance to rip all your reasons apart or try to counter your objections with his idea of solutions. He thinks the more he talks the better the chance of getting you to agree.
      via u/TerriDiA
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    • HeyPrettyLadyMaam You should ask him why he isn't pressing HIS brother or parents more. Why he's trying to bully a fresh out of highschool, not legal to drink yet person who isn't even established over actual, job for years having adults better equip to handle 3 young children? Because your a female? Or because he thinks the least of you and would rather burden his step kid than burden his blood? I'd be curious to hear his answer.
      via u/HeyPrettyLadyMaam
    • aPawMeowNyation Because your a female? Or because he thinks the least of you and would rather burden his step kid than burden his blood? I'd bet it's a combination of both tbh. He could also be getting desperate. Wouldn't be surprised if he already knows his friends will refuse, considering he's not putting as much effort into asking them as he did everyone before them.
      via u/aPawMeowNyation
    • Alwayzcompasstion NTA I think what your mom and step dad are doing is smart. However, you do NOT have to take in your half siblings. Your step dad can be pissed all he wants, you do not have to justify it. You said no end of story. Your reasons are yours alone. Maybe things will change in the future, and you would be willing to take them in, if the time came. It's also ok to stick to your no.
      via u/Alwayzcompasstion

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    Tags

    family drama half brother guardian mother siblings stepfather half sister parenting family stepdad step father daughter parent mom half siblings parents dad
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