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    Mom cuts off 19-year-old son after 2 years of him living in a different apartment so she could move in with her boyfriend: 'I don’t want another man’s kid in my house'

    Author image for Emmy Pratt
    Emmy Pratt • Writer and Editor
    Oct 17, 2025 8:00 AM EDT

    She wasn't going to support him if he dropped out of school and spent all of his time with his girlfriend.

    Some parents make their kids move out of the family home the second they turn 18 because they can't afford to support them anymore. Other parents might toss their 18-year-old to the curb because they've been severely misbehaving their entire teenage life, and they no longer wish to be responsible for their bad behavior. In any case, the choice to push a kid out of the nest too quickly is never an easy one, and while it's easy to judge from the outside, there are always two sides to a story. 

    A lot of 18-year-olds are just ready to leave the nest, and don't need to spend a couple of years getting their life together before they move out. A young person might be emotionally ready to get some distance from their parents, but still need some financial support from them while they transition from childhood to adulthood. If a parent is willing to help support them through that stage while they live apart, more power to them.

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    • Woman in a gray long sleeved shirt
      via engin akyurt

      Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

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    • The mom in this story has supported her 19-year-old son for a year and a half while he's lived in an apartment with his older brother, worked part-time, and gone to college. Today, he's mostly living with his girlfriend and skipping classes, which makes his mom not want to support him financially any longer. Whether that's the right parental decision is up for debate.

    • Am I wrong for cutting my college-age son off from financial support?

      My 19 year old son works part- time at a grocery store & is supposed to be in school full- time. We moved about a 1.5 yrs ago to a new town. When we moved, I rented an apartment nearby for both my sons while I moved in with my boyfriend to reduce expenses. I paid most of
      via u/Able_7247
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    • An apartment building with balconies and a fire escape
      via SJ Objio (Unsplash+)

      Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

    • the moving costs, deposit, & a little over half of their rent. My younger son is responsible for a small portion of the rent, which I'm happy to cover as long as he's pursuing his education.
      via u/Able_7247
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    • My personal situation hasn't been great. All of my income goes toward supporting my sons. My health began declining after years of work travel, & I was constantly sick. I was drowning in debt trying to keep up, & though I earned enough when working full-time, I missed too many days to manage everything alone.
      via u/Able_7247
    • Their fathers aren't involved, so I've carried the full load. When I moved in with my boyfriend to help the situation, I left nearly everything I owned-furniture and all-with the kids. It was emotionally hard to leave them & everything familiar behind, but I wanted to give them stability & a chance to succeed despite my issues.
      via u/Able_7247
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    • After moving out, my younger son started dating a girl who lives about an hour away. I helped him get an old car primarily for school and work, but he began driving it constantly to see her. Despite the car needing repairs, he ignored them & kept making the trip. I asked him to limit visits to once or twice a week and focus on networking and school, but he didn't follow through.
      via u/Able_7247
    • I have concerns about the partner he chose, though it's not my choice. She had recently turned 18 when they met, doesn't work, doesn't have a DL or transportation, & lives with her mom & brother—who reportedly has different women coming & going. My son pays for nearly everything while they are together & seems to treat her well. While Im glad he does, I've
      via u/Able_7247
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    • heard from several people, including his brother and friends, that she often yells at or belittles him, which I've also observed myself. Being no one's observed reason she should be bitter, it actually makes me sad that he's belittled & treated poorly. The mother allowing him to stay. overnight so often and allowing the bother to have various girls in & out also feels like a red flag.
      via u/Able_7247
    • Out of concern, I reached out to the girl's mom about some of the challenges I've had with my son & I was hoping she'd encourage him to stay home more, focus on school, & handle his responsibilities. Unfortunately, it
      via u/Able_7247
    • didn't help—he's still there most of the week and spends the night often. When I took away his car due to its unsafe condition & his refusal to listen, her family helped him get another one from auction that is uninsured & looks unsafe to drive.
      via u/Able_7247
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    • Now that midterm grades are out, I've asked him to show me his progress. He refuses, & I'm not entirely sure if he's attending full time or passing his classes. I know he works & does go to class.. but not sure if he's in 1 class or 4.
      via u/Able_7247
    • Students sitting on chairs in front of chalkboard
      via Shubham Sharan

      Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

    • Since he's rarely home & we don't live together, it's hard to know what's really going on. Because of his refusal to show me grades, I've told him that after this semester, he'll need to pay his full half of the rent unless he can show he's actively enrolled & doing well in school. I have a
      via u/Able_7247
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    • feeling he will quit school & just work full time, which really breaks my heart. All I want is for him to not struggle nearly as much as I had to, but he's not listening. AITA if I cut off support? AITA for requiring proof, or that too controlling? AITA for seeing the gf as a red flag?
      via u/Able_7247
    • I'm struggling to know if I'm being too controlling or putting too much pressure on him. I want him to grow, be responsible, & stay focused on his future. I know I might be judging his girlfriend harshly, but I can't shake the feeling that her existing is pulling him off course & away from the goals he once had. I could use perspective to help.
      via u/Able_7247
    • Weird-Salamander-349 This is the dude you chose over your sons? https://reddit.com/r/AITAH/comments/1hq7ias/aitah i moved in with my boyfriend 6 months ago/ Aitah I moved in with my boyfriend 6 months ago and he won't let me have any decorative pictures with my kids on display
      via u/Able_7247
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    • I have been with my boyfriend for 1.5 yrs. I moved into his home 6 months ago. I've slowly been redecorating and improving the space, because it was a seriously neglected Bach pad. asked if it was ok if I had a picture with my kids, and he said “put it in your kid's house". I asked why and he said "I don't want a picture of another man's kid in my house". He then said "I don't want anyone questioning who that is". It hurt, but I'm not sure if my feelings are valid. I love my kids and I miss them
      via u/Able_7247
    • wanted a pic of us possible on a mantle amongst photos I framed of my boyfriend, his son, and their family. I wish he embraced me as a mother and my kids a bit more. He later agreed I could have a small photo upstairs, which is basically in the bedroom. I'm not sure if it's because he's embarrassed and doesn't want his family seeing it, or he wants nothing to do with my kids? Or maybe I'm just taking it too personally and it is completely wrong to ask? I have no clue. Aita?
      via u/Able_7247
    • krackedy You reached out to your adult sons girlfriend mother about him handling his responsibilities? What the actual fuck
      via u/Able_7247
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    • Shot_Help7458 Very strange. Time to cut the cord.
      via u/Able_7247
    • Shadow4summer And the money supply. If he wants to do it on his own, let him. Girlfriend and family are going to take him on a nice little ride. Son is too stupid and immature to see anything correctly. Quit paying for him to see his girlfriend.
      via u/Able_7247
    • KatTheTumbleweed YTA in several regards. You moved in with your boyfriend and left a 17yr old, and another younger son? in a house by themselves without adult supervision, guidance and a requirement to pay half the rent. Now, after not parenting your teenager for the last 18 months you are surprised that he's struggling in school, isn't balancing all the responsibilities that were thrust upon him (how much was your 17yr old prepared to take on the responsibilities of managing a home).
      via u/Able_7247
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    • Basically you abandoned your teenager to live with your partner and now instead of parenting your child you just cut him off, and simultaneously say you don't want him to struggle. You have decided to offload all your actual parenting responsibilities and make you feel like you're helping by giving money. Your child needs support and guidance to build the tools to become an independent adult, instead of equipping him with the tools for survival, you financially penalise him for the situation you
      via u/Able_7247
    • Able_7247 OP No, I moved in with my boyfriend when my sons were 18 and 25. The two are now roommates and live 10 minutes away. I definitely wouldn't have chosen to have this arrangement if I wasn't on the break of possibly defaulting on rent from the state of health I was in. I tried to avoid us being in the street and they were both adults.
      via u/Able_7247
    • Live Pressure_5432 I'm confused as to how having your two sons (19 and one even younger?) in an apartment you pay for while you moved in with your bf made any sense in the first place. Seems like the whole situation wouldn't have arisen if you'd rented an apartment for yourself and they lived with you. Also confused about the fathers. While I get that they might not be involved, did you not have child support orders? In some cases those can continue up to the point a kid finishes college.
      via u/Able_7247
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    • You're NTA for not wanting to support your kid if he isn't holding up his part of the bargain about school, but a bit YTA for creating this odd situation and yes, for being controlling. Calling the gf's mother is beyond bizarre and inappropriate. If you can't effectively communicate with your kid that's not the fault of the gf or her family, even if they are bad influences.
      via u/Able_7247
    • Able_7247 OP Father would quit his job every time they garnished his wages for child support. After my son turned 18, he fought to lower back pay. He did this during the time I was making a long distance move, causing court dates to be difficult to manage. I settled for a small lump sum in order to avoid the hassle. The child support order ended despite school enrollment. Boyfriend offered for me to move in and pay nothing. I only help support the youngest so he can finish school. The oldest pay
      via u/Able_7247

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    boyfriend single mother family drama brother mother siblings apartments parenting girlfriend family mom single mom college son parents brothers apartment
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