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16 and 18-year-old turn against Dad's new wife when she threatens to end the co-operative coparenting rhythm between their bioparents:

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  • AITA for telling my dad he'll ruin our relationship if he puts his wife before what's best for me and my brother?
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  • I (16) have a brother (18) and our parents have been divorced for like 12 years.
  • My parents always got along really well after the divorce. They threw us birthday parties together, celebrated Christmas together and would talk about us and keep things good.
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  • My brother has medical issues and they would be in the same room with him when he was sick or had a doctors appointment.
  • They also weren't those divorced parents who needed to schedule different times to speak to teachers.
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  • We were told we were most important to them and they never wanted us to feel caught in the middle.
  • Overall though my parents didn't spend a lot of time together. But they could spend time together and did when it was for us.
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  • I liked how they did that because it was nice to celebrate stuff with my whole family and my brother loved that he didn't have to pick which parent came to see him when he was in the hospital.
  • When I was 11 my dad got married again. His wife and us didn't get on super well but not super bad either.
  • She was included in the stuff with our parents like birthday parties, Christmas and stuff. She was never very nice to mom though and now me and my brother found out she doesn't approve of dad and mom talking or being in the same room.
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  • She doesn't like joint Christmas celebrations or birthday parties. She thinks everything could be separate. And my dad's actually thinking of doing it.
  • They told me and my brother a couple of weeks ago. My brother stormed out and told dad he wasn't dealing with that bulls...
  • Dad told me he knew it would be an adjustment but it was for his wife.
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  • I asked him why she mattered more than us. He said she doesn't but it's different because we're older now.
  • So I was like I have to have two weddings, two birthdays, two baby showers and everything else in the future.
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  • His wife said yes and dad said that's not what she's asking. They spoke at the same time so dad changed what he said and he told me we'd talk about it more.
  • I asked about my brother being in the hospital and she said he's an adult now so it's not like mom or dad even need to be there.
  • My dad said to let things be figured out more first. I told him why bother and he should know if he does this, if he puts her before us, then he'll ruin our relationship.
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  • The rest of the week at my dad's house was weird. My mom knows about it and I told her I don't want to go to dad's house if he's going to do this.
  • She told me I'd have to go until a judge says otherwise but he did speak to her lawyer and filed in court to see if we can't let it be my choice.
  • My dad's wife is angry at me and my brother for not accepting this and she told me I put my dad in a bad position to lose one of us.
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  • Dad keeps saying we need to talk about this more but I feel like he just wants me and my brother to accept what his wife wants.
  • MrsSEM84 NTA If his wife is so insecure that she can't deal with her husband being around his ex then she shouldn't have married him. She knew
  • what the situation was when they got together, she had plenty of time to walk away if she wasn't happy with the dynamics.
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  • I think you and your brother should try talking to Dad again, without her present. Reiterate to him that neither of you are happy with this. If she doesn't
  • want to be around your Mom anymore that is absolutely fine, she can miss all of the events and special occasions but you aren't having two. So he
  • can either choose to show up and be in his kids lives or not. But make sure he understands that if he doesn't he shouldn't act surprised in a few years when he doesn't see or hear from either of you anymore.

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