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    32-year-old mom rents a room in friend's house, wants to ban friend from bringing men around her 12-year-old son: 'If you don't like who she brings home, you need to move out'

    Author image for JR Atkinson
    JR Atkinson • Writer and Editor
    Oct 13, 2025 10:00 AM EDT
    A man sits on a couch with a 12-year-old boy.

    When a single mom was down on her luck, her friend swooped in to help. Then she tried to control her.

    You know what they say, "Never bite the hand that feeds you." This is usually solid advice. If someone is paying your bills, you probably have an obligation to keep yourself in good graces with them, lest you have to find a new way to pay your bills. You often hear this about bosses and employees. There's a certain level of mishigas you have to put up with because they're paying your salary. But does this apply to friends, too?

    The homeowner in this story wasn't paying her friend; in fact, her friend was paying her, but she was doing her a huge favor by allowing her to rent a room. She was a single, childless woman who signed up to live with another adult and her tween son just because she was being a good friend. You would think she would be rewarded for this behavior, but that's not exactly what happened. Her friend started to have issues with her lifestyle. 

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    • A woman hands her female roommate a cup of coffee.
      via Unsplash+ (Nini FromParis)

      The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

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    • It's understandable to want to protect your child from strangers. But if you're living in someone else's house, you have to live by that someone's rules, even if you don't like them. If you don't, then it's on you to either put up with it or move out. That's the crossroads this woman was at when she reached out to the internet for advice. Scroll on to read it. 

    • Am I in the wrong for not wanting my roommate to have men over when my son is here?

      For context I (32f) live in my roommates home, like she rents me a room in her home. She (33f) is my best friend and when my relationship ended with my sons dad she offered to let me rent the room since she had so much extra space. The arrangement is pretty casual, i just pay her every month. No leases or paperwork. This has worked fine for over a year and we live together very well.
      via u/funkydesert369
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    • I also have a 12yo son whom i share custody with ex with. Split 50/50. The third bedroom is his and I pay extra for it. So when i moved in she was in a long term relationship and we were all very close but abt 6 months ago they ended things.
      via u/funkydesert369
    • So lately my friend has gotten into a habit of brining men home fairly often and I don't have a problem with it but last weekend my son was here and things got weird. She came home with this complete stranger and they were hanging out in the living room w my son and I and he was kinda drank and like very attentive w my kid and something just rubbed me wrong. Then he spent the night and while that doesn't ever bother me, with my son home, i was way more aware of how precarious that could be. I me
      via u/funkydesert369
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    • So i talked to her the next morning and it didn't go well. I just expressed my concern and asked that she not bring home strangers on the days he is home. She got prickly and said she felt like that was unfair to her and that it is her house and she should be able to do what she wants really. She wasn't ride about it but clearly she disagreed with me, and we didn't really come to a resolution. Am I the Ahole for think un that's a reasonable request?
      via u/funkydesert369

    • Commenters came in with some hard truths.

      parsnipin 22h ago . YTA I get your concern, but ya don't bite the hand that feeds you. I know you pay her rent. But she's being very generous completely changing her life to let you and your son live in her home. Seems a bit too much to try and control who she has over to her own home. If you want control then move into your own place.
      via u/parsnipin
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    • . revengeofthebiscuit 22h ago YTA. Her house, her rules. If you don't like who she brings home, you need to move out. Yours and your son's safety should absolutely be your priority but you're her tenant and it sounds like she's been pretty accommodating. The good news is that you don't have a lease you need to break.
      via u/revengeofthebiscuit
    • Glum_Airline4017 22h ago • YTA. It's her home and you are her tenant. Your kid is 12 not 2. If you don't like it then move out and get your own place.
      via u/Glum_Airline4017
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    • • slap-a-frap 22h ago Soft YTA - it's been a year. It's time for you to get a place of your own. You might think it's all puppies and rainbows but on the other side, you've overstayed your welcome in a house that is owned by a single woman who is child free. She has every right to do what she wants. At the end of the day, it is her house and you are just a tenant renting a room. You need to get on with your life. Best of luck, OP!
      via u/slap-a-frap
    • Top-Entertainer2546 · 22h ago YTA Your concerns are valid. But you are renting a couple rooms in your friend's house, you have no right to expect her to limit her s*x life for your kid. A year ago she did you a big favor letting you move in when you had no place to go. Time for you to move to your own place, and be gracious and thankful for your friend's help.
      via u/Top-Entertainer2546
    • xicor 21h ago Wait...let me get this straight. She owns the place and is letting you live there and you want to tell her that she can't have people over? YTA.
      via u/xicor
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    • GlossyP 22h ago • Time to get your own place. It's been a good run for you and your son but it is time to go. Your son's physical and emotional safety is a priority and you are responsible for providing a home where this is true. It's not now and you have no right to ask your friend to curtail her lifestyle. YTA if you don't get out asap.
      via u/GlossyP
    • Miilkbby 22h ago Soft YTA. Your priority should definitely, 100%, be your son's safety & wellbeing. However, you are tenants & are in no position to set house rules. Time to move on if you value your friendship.
      via u/Miilkbby
    • Spare-Shirt24 • 22h ago YTA I (32f) live in my roommates home This is her home. She can bring visitors when she chooses. You don't get to set rules for her.
      via u/Spare-Shirt24
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    • MrsMorley 22h ago YTA. It's her house. If her having lovers over is a no go for you, you'll have to find other accommodations.
      via u/MrsMorley
    • j_jqqq. 22h ago NAH I think it's time you found a new living arrangement. She's in a different place in her life than when you moved in, and you owe your son and yourself a more stable and safe place full-time.
      via u/j_jqqq
    • Additional_Injury536 • 22h ago YTA - time to get your own place if you want a say in the house rules
      via u/Additional_Injury536
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    • Pesec1 22h ago YTA. You rent a room. She can't bring random men into that room. As long as there is no clear safety risk, whom she brings into the rest of her house in none of your business.
      via u/Pesec1
    • OddDisaster8173 22h ago YTA. It's her house. Maybe rent somewhere else if you want to police what is going on.
      via u/OddDisaster8173
    • Next_Brainpuzzle ⚫ 21h ago • As a mother myself I completly understand your concern. But its her house. I think it was fair for you to ask but you have to accept that she thinks your crossing the line and asking too much. The best thing to do is looking for a new place as you cant protect your child to your standard while living with her.
      via u/Next_Brainpuzzle
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    • OrdinaryMajestic4686 · 22h ago • It's understandable that that's not something you want to expose your son to. But the house isn't yours. It's her house and her rules. You don't have anything in writing that gives you any sort of tenant rights or rules that you both must follow. She's in her right to do what she wants with her living space.
      via u/OrdinaryMajestic4686
    • Imma go with NAH. It's not wrong of you to want a safe space for your son. But that shouldn't come at the expense of your friend's... let's call it freedom. Your current lifestyles/wants just aren't compatible for living together. Find a way to move out. That way you can both get what you want.
      via u/OrdinaryMajestic4686
    • Tall-Independence717 • 22h ago NAH. Her house, her rules. Yes you are paying rent but it IS her house. So if you have a problem, it's time for you to find your own place as soon as you can afford it. And if someone she brings home in the meantime creeps you out, just don't let your son out of your sight even if that means you have to sleep in the room with him. Good luck!
      via u/Tall-Independence717
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    • Fun-Sun-8192 22h ago • You don't have a lease and its her house? You're lucky you're even still allowed to live there lol.
      via u/Fun-Sun-8192
    • Plastic-Designer-580 • 22h ago I understand your concerns as they are valid. However, it is her home. Sometime back, I allowed my brother to stay at my home. After a few months, he began to pay a small amount of rent and he tried to tell me what I should or shouldn't do in MY home that I so graciously allowed him to stay. My thoughts are that I can do whatever I want in my home
      via u/Plastic-Designer-580
    • because he would have no say if he wasn't here, and frankly, it isn't something I want. It was something he needed. That being said, your concerns are valid as they involve your son. She's in a different stage and regardless this isn't a long term solution for you. It's time to get on your own two feet and look for a place.
      via u/Plastic-Designer-580
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    • elpislazuli ⚫ 21h ago NAH... understandable you don't want your child around strange men. Understandable that she wants to be able to bring men home. But it's her house. If this is a dealbreaker for you, you need to find another living arrangement, rather than impose your restrictions on her.
      via u/elpislazuli
    • maknchezpls • 22h ago YTA but you're not wrong for being concerned. Since it's her space, she has the authority. Unfortunately being right in this situation will mean more work for you than for her. You have nothing binding you or her to anything. I'd recommend finding somewhere else to stay if the ultimate priority is your child's safety. Don't put yourself at risk of being the victim of someone else's choices.
      via u/maknchezpls
    • A man plays video games with a 12-year-old boy on a couch.
      via Unsplash+ (Getty Images)

      The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

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