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    Mom of 4-month-old leaves home for an hour, husband sends her voice note of the baby crying: 'I thought you would text me if something was wrong'

    Author image for Ally Perry
    Ally Perry • Writer and Editor
    Oct 8, 2025 9:00 PM EDT
    a man wearing glasses holds a crying baby to his face

    Once somebody becomes a parent, there is no going back from it.

    So long as a child is a part of a parent's life, they have to accept that there will always be a part of them that is constantly on duty. They might get a break now and then, but nonetheless, choosing to bring a life into the world means accepting responsibility for that.

    At the same time, raising kids is not something that anybody should have to do on their own—especially when they are at an age where they are completely dependent on you. Ideally, both parents should have a productive role in caring for their children together, working as a team for the best results.

    It is common knowledge that in many coparenting relationships, this does not turn out to be the case. It can prove all too easy for one parent to take on more of the burden, leaving the other feeling overwhelmed if they have to step up. The balance can be difficult to get right.

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    • a woman sits with her head in her hand, looking at her mobile phone
      via Kev Costello

      Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

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    • In this story, a mom felt uneasy after the way her husband communicated with her when he watched their 4-month-old baby. She had gone out to catch up with a friend for an hour, and although he had had a long day at work, he confirmed that he was OK to take over childcare while she did so.

      She had told him to let her know if the baby was struggling at any point, and once she got home, she realized that he had sent her a voice note of him crying with no further context. The mom told her husband that she didn't appreciate him sending this, but she wondered if she was taking it too seriously.

    • Husband sent me a voice memo of our baby crying while I was out

      My friend asked me last minute today if we could get together for a quick visit, we haven't seen each other lately and I haven't gone anywhere on my own in almost a month (I have a 4 month old baby at home and I'm ebf (exclusively breastfeeding).
      via Particular-Ability49
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    • Hubby was out of town for work today, he had an early start, so I called him and asked if it would be ok if I went out for a bit tonight with my friend to go get a drink or treat. He said it was all good and even encouraged it.
      via Particular-Ability49
    • I fed the baby and left at 6:50pm. While my friend was driving I texted my hubby and said to let me know if the baby is having a really hard time while we're out. He said ok, and asked if we could stop get more pull ups for our oldest son before we came back home cause he ran out. I said yeah we'll go on our way back home and that I'd wake my oldest and put a pull up on him when I got home.
      via Particular-Ability49
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    • Around 7:35 he sends me a voice memo. I didn't play it cause my friend and I were chatting and I assumed it was either of my older son saying goodnight, or my baby babbling/laughing (he sent him mom a voice memo of him laughing a couple weeks ago). I should also add that we never send each other voice memos unless it was of our oldest son saying goodnight or good morning when one of us would be out of town for work.
      via Particular-Ability49
    • a man wearing glasses holds a young baby
      via Getty Images (Unsplash+)

      Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

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    • We went straight to the store after that to get the pull ups then headed back to my house. I got home around 8pm and sat in the car with my friend chatting a bit longer before coming inside (we pretty much always do this so I didn't think it was an issue). And he texts me at 8:10 asking what I'm doing out front. I told him we were just chatting so I tell my friend I better get inside and see how the baby is doing (we knew it would be a short visit anyways).
      via Particular-Ability49
    • I get inside and the baby is sleeping, but then he wakes up so I pick him up and go feed him. I remembered about the voice memo so I played it and it was of our baby crying.
      via Particular-Ability49
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    • My husband comes upstairs and I asked him why he sent me a voice memo of the baby crying and he said "you told me to let you know if he was having a hard time". I said "yeah I told you to text me, I was chatting with my friend so I didn't listen to the voice memo until just now when I got home. I thought it was (oldest son) saying goodnight or (baby) babbling or laughing. I thought you would text me if something was wrong, not send me a voice memo of him crying." I told him I
      via Particular-Ability49
    • thought it was really weird he did that, I wasn't even gone for long. He said "idk I'm just really tired”. Then he didn't say anything else about it and just went to bed.
      via Particular-Ability49
    • I know he had a long day with work and having to drive out of town today, which is why I asked in the first place if he'd be ok with me going out for a little visit. I understand him being tired but it just seems really weird to me and almost manipulative that he sent me a voice memo of our baby crying while I was out for about 45 mins. Am I wrong for thinking that? TL/DR: husband sent voice memo of our baby crying while I was out with my friend for under an hour
      via Particular-Ability49
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    • a man wearing glasses holds a crying baby to his face
      via Getty Images (Unsplash+)

      Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

    • Unhappy_Start7079 You're not wrong for feeling weird about it. Sending a crying memo instead of a text feels a little passive-aggressive, especially since he knew you were out briefly and had checked in beforehand. It sounds like frustration disguised as communication.
      via Unhappy_Start7079
    • Unaware Tort It is very manipulative. You went out he sent you a voice note of the baby crying? He couldn't figure it out? What did he do when the older kid cried and you were not there. This is not his first kid.
      via UnawareTort
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    • usecyanideonmagats I'm like 99% sure all of the human population agrees that a baby crying is one of, if not the most, intolerable noise/s on the planet. This is the same to me as if he was subbing for a class you were teaching and sent you a voice memo of nails on a chalkboard to relay distress. Just weird, inconsiderate, and unnecessary.
      via usecyanideonmagats
    • MongoLoves Donut NOR To me, sending a voice memo of your baby crying was an attempt to make sure you felt guilted into coming home. Moms go out. Babies cry. Dads learn how to soothe their child. It was less than an hour! You said the baby was sleeping when you came home - it sounds like your husband overreacted.
      via MongoLovesDonut
    • onlyinvowels NOR, he knows the convention. All he had to do was text, “baby is having a hard time." He was too lazy to do this. He may have weaponized your voice memo shorthand to guilt trip you, and if he didn't, he should have understand your miscommunication.
      via onlyinvowels
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    • Two-Theories Not overreacting - you both are going to be tired as parents of young kids and if you're ebf you're going to be more tired than him, but he thinks that kids are your responsibility not his, so he sent the crying voicemail as a way to trigger maternal guilt re taking a sliver of time for yourself.
      via Two-Theories
    • He needs a lot more time solo-parenting his own kids, and you need time without the kids both of the type of actual self- care, e.g. time with friends, pursuing a hobby or interest, or education course etc, as well as more mundane things e.g. it shouldn't be assumed the kids come with you wherever you go on the weekend and/or weekday evenings.
      via Two-Theories

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