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27-year-old moves into first solo apartment, stepmom flips out when he refuses to accept her decorating tips: 'She told me if I ever want to find a woman, I need to let her redecorate'

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  • a man puts laundry in a hamper in a bedroom
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  • AITJ for refusing to let my dad’s new wife redecorate my apartment because she thinks it is “too masculine”?

    I am 27M and recently moved into my own place. It is a small but nice apartment, and I spent months saving up and decorating it the way I like. I used dark furniture, framed vinyl covers, a couple of movie posters, some plants. I am proud of it. My dad remarried last year,
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  • a man drinks a beverage on a balcony, as seen from a bedroom
  • and his wife is very opinionated. She came over for the first time and immediately started pointing out what needed to change. she said my apartment looks unwelcoming and not like a proper home, and offered to help by picking curtains, new wall colors, and even suggested
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  • getting rid of my record player because it looks messy. I politely said I like it the way it is. She insisted again and told me that if I ever want to find a decent woman, I need to let her redecorate. I told her she was being intrusive and that this is my place. She got offended, my dad said I could have been more grateful, and now apparently I am the j for not letting her take over my space. AITJ for setting that boundary?
  •  a woman sits up in bed and drinks a glass of water
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  • Commenters agreed that the stepmom had overstepped a boundary.

    Purple_Kiwi5476 Oh, please, NTJ!. Depending on your esteem for your dad, respond: 1. I'm sorry her feelings were hurt, Dad, but she didn't understand my first polite "No, thanks," so I had to find another way of getting my message across. 2. "Dad, I understand that her feelings are important to you.l wish mine were as well."
  • 3. "Dad, my apartment is my business, not hers and not yours."
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  • whiteprisonb tch Who the f I does she think she is?
  • CRK_76 Don't invite her over anymore. Problem solved.
  • Plane-boat-6484 NTJ. It's unsolicited advice and r de to boot. Absolutely not required to do anything with the advice other than ignore it.
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  • SusanMShwartz It's your home. If she wants to offer a woman's touch, let her redecorate for your father.
  • Comprehensive Dot652 NTJ Any woman's touch to your home should be from a woman that you choose as a partner and want to SHARE a home with. Anything else is nonsense.
  • Irish_lady_Sheanan It's your house, your home, your stuff. Your money that pays for it.
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  • Irish_lady_Sheanan Tell her that your new girlfriend/finance/wife will decorate. Then say no. Firmly. Get former and a little bit louder.
  • Sorry-Climate-7982 NTJ. To dad: grow a pair. I told her no, this is my place and she did not listen. It is never gonna happen so you deal with her. To new mum: No. No. No. No. No. NO! NO!!! and please stay away until you can spell that.
  • Cousin_fromBoston Go to their house and start doing the same and then say "my dad's never going to find a decent woman with a place looking like this" you're old man will probably not talk to you for a while but I bet his wife will leave you alone
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  • NathanBrazil2 she will get over it, just stay polite if you want to keep the relationship with your dad.
  • MaverickX713X You do you man. No one should tell you how to live, unless you're ya know married
  • cottagecheezecake Um, is she paying for this apartment? No? Then she has no say. And if she wants to be ride about it, she doesn't have to come over ever again.
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  • NeeliSilverleaf NTJ. She's being way too pushy and overstepping. You may be her husband's son but she met you as an entire-a adult, so she's got no place trying to give you "motherly advice" and is coming off hella creepy. Wanting to decorate a grown man's house to be "more welcoming" to herself comes off like a hamfisted flirtation.

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