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Mom makes surprising decision to sell family home out from under son and his girlfriend, he cuts her off in retaliation despite ample warning

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    AITAH for selling my house out from under my son and his girlfriend?

    Couple sit amidst boxes in their home while moving out
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    I (60F) have rented my second home to my son "Joe" (34M) for the last 7 years. Initially he shared the home with friends at a below market rent. Leases included
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    agreements for periodic, reasonable increases. Most of my retirement nest egg was in that home and I was clear that if there
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    was ever any risk to the investment, I would have to sell immediately.
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    A for sale sign that also says SOLD in front of a house
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    Once I lost the homeowners insurance as they were not properly maintaining the house.
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    We made corrections and got in reinstated. Twice I lost my job and struggled to pay the mortgage on that house and my
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    primary residence, but was able to quickly find another job and cover expenses. Each of these instances prompted a
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    conversation that they should prepare for the house to be sold if I could not resolve the problem.
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    I planted the seed with my son that he should be saving money in case he wanted to buy the house someday, and this is where I might be the AH. He initially said he was not interested, but 2 years
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    ago his girlfriend (32F) moved in and he showed more interest. I was very happy for them, and I thought we had a good relationship. They told their housemates they wanted to live together as a couple and asked
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    them to move out. She coordinated an effort to clean up the house and maintain it better, which made me very happy.
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    Then our neighborhood started changing. Investors were buying up properties at hugely inflated prices and mostly renting them out. Some homes are vacant for a long time before being rented.
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    There was a shooting a block away. It was time to get out of that neighborhood and take advantage of the higher market prices.
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    I spoke to Joe and his girlfriend in the fall of 2023 and explained why they should start making plans to be out by the fall of 2024. We briefly discussed their financial situation. They were not
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    able to buy the house, and possibly never could at the going rate. The value of homes had more than doubled in a year and that market was not going to sustain itself much longer.
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    Woman gazes with a worried expression at a piece of paper
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    Everything instantly changed. She was openly r de to my face and via text. When they moved out, "they" left some petty, vindictive "messages" around the
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    house. They refused to give anyone in the family their new address. In 2017 I had promised Joe a portion of the profit when I
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    sell. The day after I wrote him the check he changed his phone number. He has gone no contact and broken my heart.
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    His father (71M), my ex, told me that Joe eventually called him, but still won't give his address. He told my ex if I ever got his number then he would just
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    change it again and never trust him. He said they are cutting me out of their life because I "sold the house out from under them".
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    -UP: They were mostly responsible tenants. Paid a fair price always on time. A bit neglectful but not destructive. The insurance co were d 6. Not his fault, but my retirement fund was at risk.
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    A retirement fund jar filled with coins
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    He is not spoiled at all. But we've always had a rocky relationship. I love him dearly and some of the comments are not totally fair to him.
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    He could have lived with either parent for low-no cost. His siblings did this until they were on their feet. Joe chose to rent from me. The mortgage needed to be paid.
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    I sold both houses (not just the rental) and paid off the mortgages, so not a pure profit
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    here. I owed money. We both had to move and I'm downsizing to prepare for retirement. Cheaper house in a cheaper area.
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    Joe and girlfriend are not in a position to buy the house even at a lower price. But if they were, why wouldn't they just turn around and sell for the extra cash?
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    GenxBaby2 NTA They sound very ungrateful. You subsidized your son for years with below market value rent. Sounds like he and his girlfriend were hoping that would go on indefinitely. Maybe get the word to him that he should be concerned about your will.
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    FrostylcePrincess NTA 1 you hinted that you might sell the house more than once 2 you gave them the right of first refusal before putting it on the market
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    3 you tried sending them a portion of the profit from the sale, then they moved away and ghosted you OP didn't "sell the house out from under them"

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