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    'There's only one momma in his life, and that's me': New mom stands firm against mother-in-law after she teaches grandson to call her "momma"

    Author image for Ely Bulnes
    Ely Bulnes • Writer and Editor
    Oct 5, 2025 1:00 PM EDT

    Names and nicknames carry a lot of meanings in families. They can hold warmth, history, or a sense of belonging; A grandmother called "Yaya" could hint at Greek ancestry, and a grandmother referred to as "Meemaw" may strongly suggest Southern origins. But names can also be a cause of tension. In many families, the titles we use define who's who in the family's circle of love and authority. In my family, for example, I call my grandmother "Mama + her name," a sweet and familiar tradition that feels comforting and earned. But not every grandmother deserves to carry this title. 

    One new mom recently found herself in an uncomfortable situation when her mother-in-law, who has a history of making subtle digs and backhanded comments, decided that she wanted to be called "Mama Cornelia" by her grandson instead of the agreed-upon "MaCo." At first, the mom tried to shrug it off, but when her toddler actually started using the name, it just felt wrong. Because while "Mama" might seem like just another title, to this new mom, it felt like her mother-in-law was claiming a role that wasn't hers.

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    • 01

      AITA for not wanting my son to call my mother-in- law "momma"?

      Grandmother smiles at her grandson while they bake a cake together
      via StudioKreativa from Getty Images Signature

      Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

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    • 02
      Hi everyone, I (29F) have been with my husband (34M) for 9 years. My relationship with my MIL (let's call her Cornelia) has never been great. On the surface
      via u/BuffaloEmbarrassed23
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      she's polite and diplomatic, but she has this way of making little digs at me, always subtle enough that outsiders wouldn't notice unless they knew me well.
      via u/BuffaloEmbarrassed23
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      For example, she buys white chocolate as a gift for me, even though she knows that's my
      via u/BuffaloEmbarrassed23
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    • 05
      husband's favorite, not mine. It sounds small, but it's these kinds of constant little jabs that build up over the years.
      via u/BuffaloEmbarrassed23
    • 06
      My husband and I now have a 2.5-year-old son. When he was born, Cornelia decided she wanted to be called "MaCo" (short for "Mama Cornelia") by
      via u/BuffaloEmbarrassed23
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    • 07
      him. I didn't love the idea, but I went along with it because I want my son to have a relationship with his grandmother. For
      via u/BuffaloEmbarrassed23
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      context, when I was pregnant, she used to call my unborn baby things like "ciga tte b t" which I found really hurtful.
      via u/BuffaloEmbarrassed23
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    • So, I do call my grandmother Mama, but she never made digs at my mom or called me trashy nicknames, so I think my grandma deserves that monicker!

    • 09
      Grandmother, daughter, and gradson cook together
      via AleksandarNakic from Getty Images Signature

      Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

    • 10
      Recently, my husband took our son to visit his parents. When they came back, my son suddenly wasn't calling her
      via u/BuffaloEmbarrassed23
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      MaCo anymore, he was calling her Mama Cornelia. This really bothers me. To me, there's only one Momma in his life, and that's me.
      via u/BuffaloEmbarrassed23
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    • 12
      I don't want to be petty, but I also feel like she's crossing a boundary here, maybe even
      via u/BuffaloEmbarrassed23
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      deliberately. My husband sees where I'm coming from but doesn't want to rock the boat with his mom.
      via u/BuffaloEmbarrassed23
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      Grandmother watches something on a tablet with her grandson
      via FatCamera from Getty Images Signature

      Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

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    • 15
      bokatan 778 NTA. Start referring to her as "granny" at home. Also, your husband is an AH here for not having your back.
      via u/bokatan
    • 16
      last_function_23 I'd start referring to her as great granny just to really push her buttons
      via u/last_function_23
    • 17
      JustKinda Happened OP needs to ask her husband how he would feel if son called her father or someone else "Daddy X". Sadly, some people
      via u/JustKindaHappened
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      refuse to see how wrong a situation is until they experience it themselves. You need to tell your husband that there is no "not rocking the boat" when
      via u/JustKindaHappened
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      someone interferes with your marriage or your child. He either grows a backbone and stands up to his mom or the marriage is going to crumble. I mean, who
      via u/JustKindaHappened
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      wants to sleep next to (or with) a person that doesn't have your back? A person that allows your role as your child's mother be threatened? He needs to understand that.
      via u/JustKindaHappened
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    • 21
      And from now on, MIL is only referred to as grandma. If she doesn't follow that, you go
      via u/JustKindaHappened
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      home. And son only sees grandma with you present because obviously your husband isn't going to correct her.
      via u/JustKindaHappened

    • It's a shame because MaCo is actually so adorable! But now she must be Granny forever.

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      OliviaStarling MeeMaw
      via u/OliviaStarling
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      Grandmother and grandson sit on a cough and unwrap a gift
      via Pollyana Ventura from Getty Images

      Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

    • 25
      FraggleBiologist Agreed. She knew your feelings. Now you stop playing nice. You AND your husband are letting her walk all over you.
      via u/FraggleBiologist
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      She's granny now, every single time. In front of her, at home, never say her name again. Even when talking to your husband or other family members, she's Granny. Permanently.
      via u/FraggleBiologist
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    • 27
      Putrid_Magi My own mother wanted to be called "Mini Mom", because she's small in stature. Turns out she was insane.
      via u/Putrid_Magi
    • 28
      SHUT. IT. DOWN. NOW. Grandma is a perfectly acceptable moniker for a grandmother.
      via u/Putrid_Magi
    • 29
      miss_sassypants I was thinking maybe if MIL wants to be Momma they could train him to call her Big Momma.
      via u/miss_sassypants

    Tags

    family drama married with children wife grandma motherhood relationships parenting husband couples mother in law love family boundaries raising kids mom parents
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