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    Upstairs landlord repeatedly helps his tenant’s 16-year-old daughter when she locks herself out of house, but eventually refuses to help, after realizing she only acknowledges him when she needs something: 'I refused to answer the door'

    Author image for Emma Saven
    Emma Saven
    Oct 6, 2025 4:00 AM EDT

    Most of us know that finding a committed and helpful landlord is both as wonderful as it is rare. Normally, landlords hold the title of being your ultimate lifeline until the minute you sign the contract to move in, and suddenly they've vanished faster than our middle-school boyfriends during acne breakout season. As long as you're not damaging anything that would cost them money, they're normally pretty MIA…but not this landlord.

    Helpful, patient…and reaching his wits' end, this landlord is pretty attentive when it comes to helping out his tenants. For some reason, his tenant's 16-year-old daughter keeps forgetting her house keys, and because the landlord just so happens to live above them, she always calls for him to rescue her by opening up her door. And he was fine with that…until it became constant, interrupting him during remote working hours. Yet, he still took deep breaths and continued to help with a smile. 

    Until he started noticing an odd pattern. Whenever they would cross paths outside the house, she would completely ignore him, like a pile of dust in the corner of a laundry room. We all know it's there, but no one can bother to deal with it. That is, until she wants or needs something, then suddenly she's like a Disney character whose friendliness is almost too much. So he decides to put his foot down. Why should he always be available to help someone who ignores him unless she wants something…? So instead of helping her, he's left her sitting on the pavement with some time to think about her childish behavior.

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    • So here's a very important life lesson. Consistency. Never change your attitude towards someone based on getting something out of them. Always be polite and thoughtful. You never know when you may need help with something, and there'll be no helping hands left if you've burnt down all the bridges. 

    • 01
      Woman ringing the doorbell
      via rossandhelen

      Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

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    • 02

      AITAH for not helping my tenant's daughter

      I own and live in a house which has a separate second portion with its private entrance (essentially a full suite).
      via why3006
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    • 03
      I rent out this portion of the house to a single mother with two girls (aged 16 and 6).
      via why3006
    • 04
      I go above and beyond in helping them in issues not even related to being my tenant such as fixing their car when it broke down, sharing my tools when they ask, etc.
      via why3006
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    • 05
      So the family knows me well as I often have to help them with all kinds of stuff and I generally don't mind doing so just to be a good landlord and human being.
      via why3006
    • 06
      The 16 year old daughter has a habit of forgetting her keys and locking herself out.
      via why3006
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    • 07
      Almost weekly, sometimes several times a week (this has been going on for months). When this happens, she will ring our door to ask us to open her suite door (as I have a set of keys).
      via why3006
    • 08
      I work from home so initially I would open the door for her even if I was busy in meetings as I didn't want her to wait outside (especially in winter).
      via why3006
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    • 09
      And certain times I couldn't open the door right away, I asked her to wait inside where it's warm as I finish my meeting and then I'll open the door for her (usually the wait was no more than 15 minutes).
      via why3006
    • 10
      I did let her mother know that she has been coming frequently and that sometimes it's difficult to help her because i'm in the middle of work and I can't just leave it at a moment's notice.
      via why3006
    • 11
      Her mother acknowledged it and said she'll try to ensure her 16 year old daughter doesn't forget her keys so often.
      via why3006
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    • 12
      Now my assumption was that since I've been helping the family so much and we literally live right next to each other that I'm not just random stranger to all of them.
      via why3006
    • 13
      To my surprise, I found the 16 year old daughter will completely ignore me as if I don't exist if she's passing by and I'm working outside in the yard.
      via why3006
    • 14
      Older neighbor waving outside house
      via africa-images

      Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

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    • 15
      I'll look at her to say hi and she will not even look at me as if I don't exist.
      via why3006
    • 16
      This happened several times where I would try and say hi as she's passing by and she wouldn't even acknowledge me.......until the next time she forgets her keys, then she will come and smile and be really nice to me.
      via why3006
    • 17
      So yesterday when she forget her key (as usual) and came to my door to ask for my assistance, I simply refused to answer the door as I was working and plus I figured if she's going to ignore me unless she needs something from me, I don't have to go out of my way to help her.
      via why3006
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    • 18
      As a result, she was locked outside for a few hours until her mother came home from work and let her in.
      via why3006
    • 19
      Frustrated woman sitting on the sidewalk with headphones on
      via gettyimages

      Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

    • 20
      AITAH for not continuing to go out of my way to help her when she's made a habit of locking herself out and completely ignores me unless she needs something from me?
      via why3006
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    • 21
      Intelcourier NTA. You have been enabling the daughter. But now you have taught the daughter to always remember her keys. Good work!
      via Intelcourier
    • 22
      You have also learned a valuable lesson. And that is that lectures do not change behavior. Consequences change behavior.
      via Intelcourier
    • 23
      ServelanDarrow NTA. She has taken advantage.
      via ServelanDarrow
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    • 24
      why3006 OP Many people don't realize just because someone is 16 doesn't mean they can't be manipulative and take advantage of others.
      via why3006
    • 25
      NorthernLitUp NTA. Clearly, her mother isn't doing very much to ensure that she doesn't keep forgetting her keys. Sometimes natural consequences are the best ones.
      via NorthernLitUp
    • 26
      quincebush NTA Your tenant's daughter is sixteen, she's too old to repeatedly forget her keys. Regardless of her behavior towards you, her "forgetfulness" is becoming a nuisance and is disrupting your workday. You did her a favor by making her wait until her mother returned home to let her in because now she understands fully the consequences of forgetting her keys.
      via quincebush
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    • 27
      merishore25 I as a landlord installed a coded lock as my tenants kept locking themselves out of the house.
      via merishore25
    • 28
      No-BS4me NTA. Gratitude is much more effective in getting things done than rudeness. At 16 years old, your tenant's daughter should have already learned that. You are justified in returning the lack of energy to help her.
      via No-BS4me

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