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    Girlfriend backs out of vacation at the last minute even though she already paid $500, won't give a reason why: 'I’ll end the relationship if my girlfriend cancels our holiday'

    Author image for JR Atkinson
    JR Atkinson • Writer and Editor
    Oct 6, 2025 10:00 PM EDT

    This man gave his girlfriend an ultimatum that he didn't want to give. But she left him with no answers. 

    Communication is key in a relationship, but that's not always easy to do. Sometimes it's hard to speak your mind, especially if you think that you might end up hurting others. Maybe you know the truth, but you're trying to spare your partner some potentially upsetting news. But when you do this, you're only kicking the problem further down the line. It's going to bubble up eventually, and you might not like it when it does. So it's best just to leave everything out in the open, and then you can take it from there.

    But that's not what this girlfriend did. She bottled up her feelings so tightly to avoid confrontation at every turn. And when a big vacation came up, she doubled down on her lack of willingness to open up. But her boyfriend wasn't quite sure what to do with that, so he came up with an ultimatum. 

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    • A woman argues with a man on a couch.
      via Vitaly Gariev

      The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

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    • After already putting money down on a vacation, one woman decided she couldn't face it anymore. Whether she was fudging the truth to get her way or whether she just couldn't face the trip with her partner, she shut him down. So he was left with no choice but to issue an ultimatum. Read on to see what happened. 

    • Am I in the wrong for saying I'll end the relationship if my girlfriend cancels our holiday?

      My girlfriend and I are supposed to be on holiday the week after next. We were going somewhere I'd wanted to go for years. My girlfriend had been previously. We booked it months ago and paid for it in August, it was £400.
      via u/Sad_Solution_9431
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    • We still had travel to the airport to pay, a hotel at the airport for the previous night and some activities we had planned to pay but we knew how much those were going to be. When it came to paying for the travel, hotel etc she said she couldn't afford it. I asked how she couldn't afford it when she'd just been paid and she just shrugged.
      via u/Sad_Solution_9431
    • She said she can't afford to go away so we have to cancel the trip. I pointed out she knew the costs. months ago and we've been on more expensive holidays but she just shrugged again. I asked what her real reason was because the holiday is affordable and she wouldn't answer. I told her I'm not wasting the money I'd spent so if the holiday doesn't go ahead she can reimburse me but she refused.
      via u/Sad_Solution_9431
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    • I told her if it doesn't go ahead then we'll be done because it's not the first time it has happened. Early in the relationship she did the same thing and cost me £650. Since then we've been on 5 holidays together. She said I wasn't being fair and was judging her but I just pointed out she is lying about why she apparently can't go and is expecting me to just deal with her choices causing me to lose money.
      via u/Sad_Solution_9431
    • She said she's not feeling great and feels quite low so doesn't want to go. I just repeated my earlier statement that we're done if the trip doesn't go ahead but I just pointed out she's using her mental health as an excuse and expecting it to be a free pass to get away with selfish behaviour. She said I should be understanding but I just told her she doesn't get to decide I have to be fine with her causing me to lose money.
      via u/Sad_Solution_9431
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    • AITA for saying I'll end the relationship if my girlfriend cancels our holiday?
      via u/Sad_Solution_9431
    • A woman crosses her legs and looks upset while a man sleeps behind her.
      via Vitaly Gariev

      The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

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    • Commenters came in with some tough truths.

      FormSuccessful1122 · 8h ago Why the ultimatum? Just dump her.
      via u/FormSuccessful1122
    • Anniemarsh69. 8h ago I don't understand why you are going to cancel instead of going yourself. Get her to send you the boarding passes and go.
      via u/Anniemarsh69
    • . Hopeful_Emu849 · 8h ago NTA. You can end a relationship any time, for any reason, and you're right. She's wasting your money for no reason. She has no right to tell you you have to be alright with it. Mental health and 'you should be supportive' are not a free pass for her selfish behavior, and her poor financial planning is not your fault.
      via u/Hopeful_Emu849
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    • I have to wonder if maybe she's hoping you'll just say 'f I,' and pay for it all yourself to avoid wasting the money. If so, that makes all this a selfish manipulation tactic.
      via u/Hopeful_Emu849
    • FryOneFatManic • 8h ago I'd end the relationship and go on the holiday alone. No point wasting the time or money. Even better if you can get her part transferred to a friend.
      via u/FryOneFatManic
    • . More-Parsley7950 • 8h ago NTA. Though ultimatiums are never great I get where you're coming from, I went through a similar situation this summer when me and my gf broke up with an impending holiday that I had paid in full but she was meant to cover 25% of it, she never did pay the money.
      via u/More-Parsley7950
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    • I just went on my own, you say you already paid £400 for the holiday and just travel expenses left? then what's the issue, just pay for yourself, you keep saying you're "losing money" but the money is gone one way or another so why not just go?
      via u/More-Parsley7950
    • Another option is seeing if it's possible to transfer her spot to a friend? may be a small cost but ask one of your mates if they want to go. Your gf doesn't seem to understand or care about money, is she rich/ well off or used to being treated a certain way?
      via u/More-Parsley7950
    • I agree 100% with "using her mental health as an excuse" my ex did this all the time and it sent me crazy. Good look, but I do hope you go on this holiday especially as it's somewhere "I'd wanted to go for years"
      via u/More-Parsley7950
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    • Whereswolf • 8h ago NTA She has done this before. It's not something new. Last time it cost you 650£. If she's honest (not having money) it means that she is irresponsible with her money and unable to save/plan
      via u/Whereswolf
    • ahead. Is this someone you want to live with? What if you marry her and she starts spending the joint money and even keeping it from you? She could also be lying about being able to afford it. If that is, it could be that she just want you to pay for the whole thing because it's your dream to go there. Do you want to be with someone that lies to you? To manipulate you?
      via u/Whereswolf
    • Just break up already. Find a buddy that can and will go with you and have an awesome dude's trip.
      via u/Whereswolf
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    • Davelaw5 8h ago NTA. Dump her and go on your holiday without her or take someone else and pay for a name change
      via u/Davelaw5
    • Mediocre-Metal-1796 7h ago You are already done, if the only reason for her to go to the holiday is your ultimatum. it won't be much fun anyway. You should ask her to pay her share for what you have paid, dump her and go there alone. NTA
      via u/Mediocre-Metal-1796
    • winterworld561 · 8h ago She's hiding something and lying. Her whole attitude doesn't sit right with me. My guess is she's had a better offer. Dump her.
      via u/winterworld561
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    • dese... 8h ago Edited 8h ago NTA. I would dump her. She doesn't respect you. Obviously you chose the place and it's not to her liking so she decided to ditch the whole holiday. This is a red flag of what's life is going to be like with her.
      via u/desert_foxhound
    • She wants her way or nothing. She pretends to go along and then pulls out at the last minute and expects you to accept it. You losing money is none of her business. She doesn't even respect you enough to give you a good reason.
      via u/desert_foxhound
    • LlamaMama56 · 8h ago NTA for seeing your boundary and telling her the consequence if she decides to cancel the holiday. But when she cancels, you end the relationship immediately. You don't give an ultamatum and not go through with it. You hold to your word.
      via u/LlamaMama56
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    • purte .7h ago Is she expecting you not to go if she isn't? I would see if a friend/family member can go instead and if not, go on your own. Solo holidays are great! Don't mess about with ultimatums, she's done this to you before.
      via u/purte
    • Some time apart might cement your resolve to end the relationship and give her time to realise how selfish she's being. Her not explaining her reason for pulling out is not acceptable. NTA.
      via u/purte
    • Purple-Canary2657 · 6h ago Sounds like she's manipulating you because she's getting cold feet. My recommendation would be to cut that off and find you a woman that appreciates you
      via u/Purple-Canary2657
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    • Maximum-Ear1745 4h ago I would be more concerned that she isn't being honest with you. If she doesn't want to go, she absolutely needs to pay you her share of any non refundable costs. I hope you go on your own and have a great time. NTA
      via u/Maximum-Ear1745
    • teekaya • 3h ago . Ya someone's else said it best, just go anyways. Why are you allowing her absence to ruin your dream vacation. Ask a friend to go with you if you don't want to go alone, but also, as someone who has done a ton of solo travelling, it's so fun you should go regardless!
      via u/teekaya
    • Sign up for group activities so you can meet some strangers and hang out at a nearby hostel if you'd like. Breaking up is your decision but it sounds like she's also expecting you to pay for these instead of splitting. So she's coming up with these excuses. No need to give an ultimatum like that though. Feels unnecessary.
      via u/teekaya
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    • Lady-Kaiya33 · 8h ago • I get that ultimatums aren't exactly a fun thing, however in some cases a necessary evil. However, when it comes to relationships ultimatums aren't really worth it, other than to act as a marker of a relationship that is d__ng. A.
      via u/Lady-Kaiya33
    • small piece of advice, when your relationship gets to the point where an ultimatum is deemed necessary then your relationship is pretty much already on life support if not already de d.
      via u/Lady-Kaiya33
    • NTA; see if a friend wants to go. Take some time to yourself, and get a clear perspective. Odds are you taking some time to get some perspective will bring a lot of things about your relationship into greater focus. Then you can decide if it's really worth risking this happening again if you stay. G*luck
      via u/Lady-Kaiya33

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    ultimatum long term relationship relationship advice aita relationship relationship status relationship-drama reddit story relationships story reddit thread Reddit money healthy relationship vacation
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