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Boss calls employee ugly in front of his entire team: 'Everyone went silent and I just sat there not knowing what to say.'

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  • Mature businessman in gray suit sitting at desk in the office
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  • My boss said to me "You're so ugly!"

    We were having our usual morning meeting when my boss just casually drops "You're so ugly!" in front of the entire team. Not even joking around or anything, just said it like he was commenting on the weather. Everyone went de d silent and I just sat there not knowing what the h to say.
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  • I tried brushing it off in the moment because what else are you supposed to do? But the more I think about it, the more ped off I get. Like who says that to another person, let alone someone they're supposed to be managing professionally?
  • Thoughtful mature businessman with gray hair in the office wearing a blue shirt
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  • I've dealt with micromanaging and the usual corporate BS before, but this feels different. It's not about work performance or anything I can actually control or improve on. Just a straight up personal attack for no reason.
  • Part of me wants to report it to HR but honestly I don't even know if they'd take it seriously. The other part just wants to walk out and never look back, but bills exist unfortunately.
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  • A person using a calculator on a desk
  • beers_georg ⚫ 11h ago I truly understand the desire to just overlook it and get on with your life, but not only does that just almost guarantee that either you or someone else will be the victim of this bulls again, it also has the effect of validating that kind of behavior within the company and in society at large. I realize it's trivial for me to say
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  • to you from behind a keyboard with zero skin in the game, but seriously consider calling them out on it. There may be no consequences like you said; But if you do nothing, that outcome is guaranteed - And you will also know exactly how much your employer has your back if that is in fact what happens.
  • Kayn2016 OP⚫ 10h ago You're right. I needed to hear that. I've been making excuses because confronting it feels scary, but doing nothing just lets it happen again. Going to document everything and talk to HR tomorrow. Even if nothing comes of it, at least I'll know where I stand.
  • beers_georg⚫9h ago Exactly. You can't necessarily fix the world around you, but you can know that you did the right thing.
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  • Redditauro ⚫ 8h ago You should definitely go to HR, and at least your boss should explain himself and apologise, even if only that happens at least he will have to feel a fraction of the humiliation that he caused and maybe he won't repeat it in the future
  • Beneficial_Heart_962 • 6h ago • Edited 3h ago He needs to apologize in front of everyone as well. Not just to the person he offended. Justice needs to be served
  • • DarkElla30 ⚫ 35m ago Edited 31m ago By doing this publicly, he was showing all her peers that OP is a safe person to demean and humiliate. She is the low-value, and powerless, person who will not correct a person who is verbally abusing her. He was effectively sounding a whistle to any other bu ies in the room and sending out a warning that anyone else could be next.
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  • That's why it does need to be a public apology - not a non-apology "this isn't who I am/I was having a bad day because of my divorce" fakeout. Documenting this and refusing to discuss this with boss without a representative present will be very important.
  • TheyCantCome • 11h ago Hostile work environment
  • Kayn2016 OP • 10h ago The fact that he said it in front of everyone makes it even worse
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  • TheyCantCome • 10h ago Makes it easier to prove
  • Argon TheEvil • 10h ago But you're not even ugly? One click to your profile and the roastme pic, and I say this as a straight guy, but you look fine man. Maybe I'm missing something, but you're so far from Quasimodo that your boss had to be high or you did something to them off.
  • A young Asian man in a gray shirt holding up a piece of paper that says r/roastme u/Kayn2016
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  • laurasaurus5 • 10h ago "We need to end work-from-home because we're missing out on all the benefits of office culture!" Office culture:
  • Ghstfce 10h ago I would have said "can we have a moment in private, please" and reamed him the moment the door to his office closed. That's what I did when my boss at my last job yelled at me in the middle of everyone for something his buddy fed up overnight that I was forced to fix. Best part was, our VP heard it from the
  • next office over, politely asked me to leave my boss's office, and proceeded to rip him a new a_h_le for about 10 minutes. That caused me to reach out to one of the companies we did work for that was poaching talent to start their own engineering group and get hired, and about a month later my former coworkers told me the old boss was fired for drinking at work!
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  • Kayn2016 OP • 10h ago I wish I had that kind of backbone in the moment. I just froze up like an idiot.
  • Michaelalayla • 9h ago You did NOT freeze up like an idiot. Your central nervous system identified a threat and your amygdala lit up with all its bells and whistles "danger!", which made your prefrontal cortex (decision making, reasoning, logic) suppress. Verbal ab e, even delivered casually like commenting on the weather, is unreasonable and unacceptable. You can't control how your brain responds to someone being a total

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