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    32-year-old woman refuses to let pregnant sister use her house to host a baby shower, offers to help pay for a venue but sister rejects all compromises: 'I'm not changing just because she's pregnant'

    Author image for Ely Bulnes
    Ely Bulnes • Writer and Editor
    Sep 28, 2025 2:00 PM EDT

    When I was a kid, my extremely sassy grandma had a magnet on the fridge that said "Guests are like fish. After three days they start to stink." At the time, I thought it was just some corny saying, but the older I get, the more I realize that there was a lot of truth in that magnet. Hosting isn't just putting out snacks and your Chill Evening Spotify playlist on shuffle; you are literally surrendering your space, peace, and sometimes your sanity. 

    Still, some people are born to be hosts; they love planning menus and perfectly arranging their living rooms for the amount of guests they're expecting. Then there's people like me who find it exhausting. No matter how much fun it can be in the moment, there is always the aftermath: empty cups hiding in weird places, sticky counters, and a weird "off" feeling that you have to sage away. And that's even when your guests are polite.

    That brings us to our tale today, where in one woman's pregnant sister is planning a baby shower, and she has decided that the only acceptable venue is our narrator's house. She has agreed to host her family for parties before, and it has always ended in a trashed living room and hours of cleanup. So, she sets her boundaries and offers to contribute money so that her sister can afford a different venue. At this point, sis calls her selfish and unsupportive. Listen, we know she's not, but sometimes, you need validation from internet commenters, which you can find below. 

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    • 01

      AITA for refusing to let my sister use my house as a free venue for her baby shower?

      it's a girl! GIP
      via Kzenon

      Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

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    • 02
      I need some perspective here. My sister (32F) recently announced that she's pregnant, and she's been talking about
      via u/Radiant-Touch-8634
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    • 03
      wanting to throw a baby shower. She's been hinting that she'd like to use my house for it.
      via u/Radiant-Touch-8634
    • 04
      I love my sister but my house is my personal space. Hosting a party would be stressful and would definitely disrupt my
      via u/Radiant-Touch-8634
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    • 05
      routine. I told her no. Firmly. I said I wasn't comfortable hosting, and if she wanted a party, she needed to plan it somewhere else. She
      via u/Radiant-Touch-8634
    • 06
      accused me of being selfish and unsupportive. My husband and I have offered to help her find a venue or even contribute
      via u/Radiant-Touch-8634
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    • 07
      financially toward renting one, but she insists my home is the only acceptable place because it's nicer than another other option she's found.
      via u/Radiant-Touch-8634
    • 08
      B=BT_SHOWET
      via DenizToprak from Getty Images

      Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

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    • 09
      But here's the thing: I've hosted a family events before. They leave my house trashed, people overstay and I end up cleaning for hours while everyone is gone.
      via u/Radiant-Touch-8634
    • 10
      I've made it clear what I'm comfortable with, and I'm not changing that just because she's
      via u/Radiant-Touch-8634
    • 11
      pregnant. Now my sister won't talk to me but I truly feel I'm right to protect my home and my time. AITA?
      via u/Radiant-Touch-8634
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    • Unfortunately, this is what happens when you prove time and time again to be a bad guest; eventually doors start closing.

    • 12
      Cheezburger Image 10558765568
      via bondarillia

      Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

    • 13
      toddamer669 Your house, your rules. Easy.
      via u/toddamer669
    • 14
      Radiant-Touch-8634 OP I stand for this. My house my rules!!
      via u/Radiant-Touch-8634
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    • 15
      jubangyeonghon If she keeps arguing just tell her not to have a baby shower, then. No need for a venue if there's no baby shower. That may give her a reality check.
      via u/jubangyeonghon
    • 16
      SatinSins16 U didn't say no to supporting her u just said no to hosting big diff that she's ignoring
      via u/SatinSins16
    • 17
      cracked53 Right, that's where boundaries matter. You can be supportive without letting people steamroll your comfort zone.
      via u/cracked53
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    • 18
      angled 036 yeah and honestly covering part of the cost for another spot shows op's not just shutting her down, they're still being supportive.
      via u/angled036
    • 19
      HoppMuzzle toddamer nailed it. Your home isn't some community center just because your sister decided she's pregnant. You set
      via u/HoppMuzzle
    • 20
      boundaries, and if she can't respect them, that's on her. Protecting your peace doesn't suddenly make you the bad guy, it just makes you sane
      via u/HoppMuzzle
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    • 21
      FigSuspicious7079 NTA You gave her a firm no AND other options. She chose the hard way
      via u/FigSuspicious7079
    • 22
      Radiant-Touch-8634 OP Exactly! Me and my husband even offered her to contribute financially toward renting one.
      via u/Radiant-Touch-8634

    • Offering to help pay for a venue is proof enough that she is incredibly supportive; sis is just totally locked in on getting what she wants for whatever reason.

    • 23
      Cheezburger Image 10558765824
      via BGStock72

      Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

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    • 24
      Due_Visit_7277 No you are not the A at all. She is trying to manipulate you emotionally into doing what she
      via u/Due_Visit_7277
    • 25
      wants. Hold your ground and she will get over it and in the process she will learn that you cannot be emotionally manipulated.
      via u/Due_Visit_7277
    • 26
      Radiant-Touch-8634 OP I hope she eventually understands and respect my decision.
      via u/Radiant-Touch-8634
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    • 27
      Jcoopz3 NTA. Let's start off with "no" is a complete sentence. If she was just disappointed, then that's valid. But now she's not speaking to you. And she's having a baby?
      via u/Jcoopz3
    • 28
      Also, since you've hosted before and your family leaves your home trashed, yeah, definitely not.
      via u/Jcoopz3
    • 29
      blueracerkid10 NTA. Especially since you've offered to help pay for another venue! Hopefully she'll calm down, but if she doesn't,
      via u/blueracerkid10
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    • 30
      whatever! You've done nothing but set a perfectly reasonable boundary. She said her options are pretty limited, she can't force you to throw her a party at your
      via u/blueracerkid10
    • 31
      house if you don't want to. Seems like she's got a pretty clear path forward if she wants a baby shower (which you've offered to help her with) and if she doesn't want to take it, that's her choice.
      via u/blueracerkid10

    Tags

    Babies relationship advice family drama baby siblings relationships parenting love new mom entitled family sister parents entitled people
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