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    Boyfriend wants to kick out girlfriend's friend who has been staying with them for weeks, girlfriend manipulates him into letting her stay: 'I feel like she doesn't like me and is trying to drive a wedge'

    Author image for JR Atkinson
    JR Atkinson • Writer and Editor
    Sep 29, 2025 10:00 AM EDT

    Having someone stay with you for an undefined amount of time is not the best gig. If you can help it, it's best to avoid this situation altogether. You want to have an end date for all your guests before they arrive. Or else they might take advantage of your kindness and try to stay and stay and stay. But this might interrupt your daily life in a pretty dramatic fashion. You're probably used to being fully comfortable in your home. You're used to being able to stretch out and use your space with full privacy. When someone is staying with you, even if it's a close friend, you lose that ability. And unless you're the type of person who thrives on interaction and wants to be with people all of the time, then you're going to burn out on that. 

    It gets especially difficult if the person who is staying with you has no intention of moving on. Maybe they say they're looking for other options, but you know that they have no internal deadline. 

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    • That's what happened in this situation where one man found he was being taken advantage of by someone he thought he could trust. But it turned out that his home was no longer a place for him to unwind. It became a crash pad for someone he didn't even know. Read on for the story. 

    • Am I in the wrong for not wanting my GF's friend stay with us any longer?

      M (30) F (26) I've been together with my girlfriend for 3 years, and we've been living together for 2 years in a one- bedroom apartment. Out of the blue, my girlfriend told me that a friend of hers from the past is in trouble and has no place to stay. She said this friend was kicked out by her boyfriend because she didn't want to have s with him anymore. The house was in his name, not hers. For context, my girlfriend is Romanian, and so is her friend.
      via u/GlobalAssignment510
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    • Then she said maybe we could help her and let her stay with us until she finds a place and gets her life back on track. I really didn't want that and told her we don't even have a second bedroom, so she'd have to sleep on the couch. My girlfriend suddenly started crying and got angry because I didn't want to help her friend right away. It's not that I don't want to help, but we simply don't have the space and who knows how long she'll stay?
      via u/GlobalAssignment510
    • After many conversations, we eventually decided to help her, and she moved in with us. She doesn't have a job or any income. She also has a 3-year-old daughter, but she rarely sees her because the child is with the father. It's a strange story: before moving in with us, she was apparently in Italy for a year with another man she had a relationship with, but it turned out he was ab ive, so she came back to Belgium and now she's living with us.
      via u/GlobalAssignment510
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    • We didn't make any agreements about rent or her contribution for staying here. Every time I bring it up with my girlfriend, she gets angry and says her friend has no money and can't pay. At first, I could tolerate her presence, but now it's been a month and I'm losing my mind. This is not okay for my mental health. I do see that she's trying to contribute by cooking, doing the dishes, and cleaning but still.
      via u/GlobalAssignment510
    • I'm starting to hate her more and more, especially because she and my girlfriend have become really close friends. They talk constantly and laugh and giggle all the time and I feel like she doesn't like me and is trying to drive a wedge between me and my girlfriend. This is a really situation, and I actually want her out of my apartment as soon as possible. Apparently, she has nowhere else to go, so if we kick her out, she might end up sleeping on the street and then I'm the bad guy.
      via u/GlobalAssignment510
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    • Commenters came up with solutions.

      • Competitive_Test6697 23h ago Subtlety tell your gf "I don't know why she can't find a nice guy, she's really cool and cute, she'd be a steal for any guy" She'll kick her out herself.
      via u/Competitive_Test6697
    • Two women eat pizza on the floor together.
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      The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

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    • fuckitwebowl · 1d ago From reading a bazillion posts like these, I feel like I can say your relationship is effectively over. You're in a no-win situation.
      via u/fuckitwebowl
    • Aggravating_Onion_52 • 23h ago NTA - they are both taking advantage of you. Tell GF she has a month to get out. If GF disagrees, then YOU move out, and they can figure out how to pay the bills between the two of them.
      via u/Aggravating_Onion_52
    • Early-Revolution9142 23h ago • They are financially using you. Tell your gf from now on she is solely responsible for financially supporting her friend and you are giving her friend 1 months notice to get her affairs in order and move out. If gf gets angry then she can leave with her friend. Who's name is on the lease?
      via u/Early-Revolution9142
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    • CyCoCyCo 23h ago . NTA. This seems like hobosexual behavior, with strings attached. The bigger red flag is not discussing it properly or giving 2 hoots about your partners comfort. Have a sit down with her when the friend is not around. Share your concerns. If she seems dismissive, break up.
      via u/CyCoCyCo
    • Melodic-Dark6545 23h ago . I think you have to have a deep talk with your girlfriend and state that you're giving her friend one more month to find new accommodations, because you just refuse to fully support her one more single day. If her friend doesn't have a job, how on earth will she pay herself out?
      via u/Melodic-Dark6545
    • Otherwise, your girlfriend and her friend can move out and rent a place together. I am sorry, but this might lead up to this
      via u/Melodic-Dark6545
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    • DesignNormal9257 · 1d ago NTA You have to be honest with your girlfriend and discuss a timeframe for her friend to move out. A month should be plenty of time for her to find a room or make arrangements to temporarily move back in with family. It is not your responsibility to take her on as a dependent.
      via u/DesignNormal9257
    • Hexas87 23h ago • NTA. Your gf is waiting for you to move out and you should. She clearly doesn't care how all of this affects you.
      via u/Hexas87
    • Skitterin 23h ago . Tell the management of the apartment that she has an unregistered Tennant living in your apartment. Might get you both kicked out, but then you'll be free of the lease and your awful soon to be ex. They're both taking advantage of you.
      via u/Skitterin
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    • No_Alternative_8214 23h ago NTA.. but in hindsight boundaries should have been set, for example, length of stay. You need to set boundaries for her length of stay and chores around the apartment now. Communication is important. You are morally and financially being used. Communicate your feelings to your girlfriend and set clear boundaries of how you want to resolve this situation.
      via u/No_Alternative_8214
    • If your girlfriend gets angry or refuses to compromise I would move out and leave them with all the financial commitments of the apartment. 30 years of age is young and the world is yours get out there and live it instead of being stuck in a relationship where you are being used.
      via u/No_Alternative_8214
    • Annual_Government_... • 23h ago Your girlfriend made a unilateral decision and uses tears to control you. You may reconsider the entire relationship
      via u/Annual_Government_80
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    • CapHaddock • 23h ago NTA. A month of this and no plan or timeline for her moving out is not acceptable. Kicking her out would be an a hle move if she truly has no other options, but you all need to talk about this situation and find a solution that works for all of you.
      via u/CapHadd0ck
    • SouthernTrauma ⚫23h ago NTA. You need to learn to not give a sh when your GF cries. She's only crying to manipulate you.
      via u/SouthernTrauma
    • Ok-Lawfulness3305 · 23h ago NTA!! Please dont consider a bigger apartment. She wont help with the rent. If you kick her out you'll lose your gf. Buy a sofa bed because she'll be staying for the long haul. No job, no plans, no goals. Just empty promises and a bunch of words. Im sorry man
      via u/Ok-Lawfulness3305
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    • Thick_Secretary3701 23h ago • NTA it's your apartment too you have the right to say no. Ik you said she's trying to help by doing chores but has she done anything to help herself move out? Does she have or is she applying for jobs? Is she looking for apartments? Trying to save at all? If not I'd give her a deadline for sure. Just kicking
      via u/Thick_Secretary3701
    • her out asap will cause problems with your gf so since you already agreed I wouldn't kick her out immediately. If gf still can't understand then that's a bigger issue you'll have to discuss with her.
      via u/Thick_Secretary3701
    • BSTDKNCKLS2213 23h ago . NTA. It's your GF's friend's problem, not yours! A month and she still hasn't tried to find a job to earn her own money!?! You need to draw a line, and if your GF has a problem with it, then she's also part of the problem, and your solution is to split and get your own place and leave them both to figure things out for themselves!
      via u/BSTDKNCKLS2213
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    • Adventurous-Bar520 23h ago You need to have a conversation with both of them, it has been a month and what progress has been made to her getting a job, moving out etc. The friend cannot stay with you long term. You need to check out your country's eviction laws because
      via u/Adventurous-Bar520
    • if she stays much longer she may have rights. If your gf supports the friend rather than you then she is making her choice and both of them can leave. You are not a charity and you want your apartment back.
      via u/Adventurous-Bar520

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