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    32-year-old man falls for coworker, begins secretly dating her to avoid hurting another coworker who she rejected, who lashes out when he discovers their relationship, claiming he’s in love with her: ‘He said I was a terrible person for doing this to him.

    Author image for Emma Saven
    Emma Saven
    Sep 19, 2025 7:00 PM EDT

    Love is already complicated as is…now incorporate it into the workplace and add a love triangle to the mix, and there you have it, peeps: The ultimate recipe for disaster. This coworker had gotten out of a long-term relationship and waited a fairly long time to open himself up to love again. But as he spent time in the office, he organically began to fall for his coworker, and to put it simply: There were sparks! Their only roadblock, another coworker who has constantly expressed his unrequited love for her after just three dates, despite the ultimate rejection from her side. 

    So they did what any respectful work-couple would do, and kept their relationship secret for a little while. But this employee no longer wanted to keep his personal life hidden from his work friends, one of whom happened to be that Romeo spin-off, and she was going to work at another company anyway, so he thought now would be the perfect time to expose their relationship to the world…Let's just say it didn't quite go to plan, and it was more as though a bride had just run off at the altar with her groom's best friend…Tension in the office has reached a new high, all because this coworker can't get over the fact that the girl of his dreams has been 'stolen' right under his nose! 

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    • The saddest part is that they went about this in the most respectful way possible, and unfortunately, they got stuck with Mr. Cray Cray in the process. She barely dated the man, told him she wasn't interested, yet he refuses to give up! This office couple shouldn't have to hide their love…as they are just trying to grow linear, yet this love-obsessed coworker is trying so desperately to bend that line into an unwanted triangle! 

    • 01
      three smiling coworkers
      via gettyimages

      Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

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    • 02

      AITAH For dating my ex-coworker after she rejected another coworker

      So I (32 M) started dating one of my coworkers (31 F) shortly before she left this job for greener pastures.
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    • 03
      (better commute/better pay). We started dating in a weird time in both our lives but we were drawn to each other in a way we'd both never really experienced before.
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    • 04
      We made it work and so far and are super happy together. I'll start with my weirdness.
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    • 05
      Earlier this year I ended a four year relationship. It wasn't an easy decision and I wish her only the best.
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    • 06
      It was just a series of events over the last year took the veil off my eyes to all the things about our relationship I didn't like and I decided that we weren't a good match anymore.
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    • 07
      It didn't end poorly per se but it didn't end well either. My now girlfriend and I were work friends for a while before all this happened.
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    • 08
      Neither of us ever flirted or did anything outside of normal coworker interaction until a couple months after it ended.
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    • 09
      She was in the know for what I was going through since I confided in several people I worked with.
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    • 10
      Now for her weirdness, this involves her and another and still coworker of mine. There's this guy I work with (28 M) who had a huge crush on her and at the beginning of the year he asked her on a date.
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    • 11
      They were never officially dating and only went on three dates total over a three month period.
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    • 12
      She confided in me at one point that she thinks he's sweet but that she's just not interested in a relationship with him.
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    • 13
      A man crying at work
      via shotprime

      Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

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      I told her that she shouldn't force something she's not into among other advice | could think of at the time.
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    • 15
      She thought about it for a while but ultimately told him that she wanted to stay friends but didn't want to date him.
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      Now, in an ideal world, that would be the end of it. You try going out with a woman, she says thank you but no and you move on with your life.
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    • 17
      This did not happen. This guy would keep hanging on to her, flirt with her, and insist that she was hiding her true feelings.
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    • 18
      After my breakup happened she and I started growing closer since the relationship barrier was down for me.
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      We discovered more of our shared interests, our views and energy match, and our sense of humor is the same.
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      We talked more and more over text and on the phone. Eventually this led to us hanging out outside work and I asked her to go out with me and we started dating.
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    • 21
      We did keep this fact hidden from everyone at our work but specifically the guy who asked her out since based on his behavior he wouldn't take it well.
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      She was planning to go to a new job soon so we decided to wait till he was gone to break the news since at that point he was still her friend,
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      though I suspected at the time he was only still there from some idea that he still had a chance to date her in the future.
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    • 24
      We had no obligation to tell anyone of course but it was more of a courtesy since I would like to be able to openly discuss my personal life at work and it would have come out eventually.
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      Well to no one's surprise he took it very badly.
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      He called her a manipulative b*tch who led him on and a flirt who strings men along for attention (shes not like that at all).
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    • 27
      Two coworkers eating in the kitchen at work
      via corelens

      Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

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      He then confronted me at work where he said things like "She ripped my heart out and you stomped on it."
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    • 29
      Saying I was a terrible person for doing this to him. I responded saying he was overreacting by a lot, that she had rejected him, and that they had never even dated for any length of time so it wasn't like I stole her away.
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    • 30
      It was just two adults deciding to go out.
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      The only thing I think we could have maybe done better is being more open about us earlier?
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    • 32
      There's a lot more random info I didn't give just for lengths sake so if there's any questions I can answer.
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    • 33
      I know both of them pretty well. I don't think we did anything wrong. AITAH?
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    • 34
      Lost-and-dumbfound I think you handled everything perfectly and respectfully. I'd make a record of this and any other similar interactions and take them to HR. This dude is a nutcase.
      via Lost-and-dumbfound
    • 35
      theaa2000 NTA - neither you nor your girlfriend owe this guy an explanation or any apology. It is not his business that you two are seeing each other now. Since she has left the company it is also not something he should be talking to you about at work so if he persists, report him to HR for harassing you about your personal life.
      via theaa2000
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    • 36
      Remote-Cellist5927 His interest in pursuing a relationship with her entitled him to nothing more than being able to ask you not discuss your relationship. That's it.
      via Remote-Cellist5927
    • 37
      Sea-Still5427 NTA. You didn't do anything wrong. Once he calms down, he's probably going to feel hugely embarrassed at acting out his feelings in such a childish way, and at work, too. Keep this post as a record in case you need it, but otherwise this is his problem to deal with. It's tough to go through but most of us have been on the wrong side of a situation like this at some point.
      via Sea-Still5427
    • 38
      janabanana67 You are NTA. This guy was living in a fantasy world that she liked him and was playing games. Neither she nor you owe anyone a explanation. or apology for dating. It is not anyone else's business. If the coworker continues to act out, I would file a report with HR.
      via janabanana67

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    salty name calling secret sensitive FAIL romantic Awkward at work office-tension rejection co-workers relationships Office couples dating-coworkers workplace him-or-me bad-coworker conflict
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