'She's trying to alienate the boys from their father': 35-year-old stepmother makes blended household uncomfortable by fighting with ex-husband constantly, current husband steps in

When one is a child or teenager, it's important to grow up in an environment that feels stable and safe. Blended household or not, there's a way to be stable and safe with your children. It's about cultivating a home with love, support, consistency, stability. Without these fundamental tools in a home, kids grow up with more issues to work out in adulthood. The story here centers around a blended family, but that's not the issue. It seems that everyone is well adjusted to the situation, even with several teenage sons and daughters. Everyone except the mother.

The woman's ex-husband cheated on her, which is a huge trauma for anyone who's been in that situation. Managing a divorce with the added pain of infidelity is not something I would wish on my worst enemy. So her hostility towards him doesn't stay contained inside of her; she lashes out and says hurtful things to her sons about him in an attempt to alienate them from their father. Needless to say, it's not doing any good for anyone.

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AITAH for not taking my wife's side against her ex about kids?

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It's unbelievable that she would be so isolating of her husband. Yes, he hurt her, but there's no reason to make her kids turn on him. They need a father whether she wants it to be him or not. She needs therapy. But props to her husband, he seems incredibly mature.
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