‘I immediately have gotten to work with the university on requesting a room change’: Roommate at med school ignores policies and bans male visitors to shut down her flatmate’s fiancé from visiting

Shared housing is the sport where printed policies play against personal constitutions and the hallway serves as neutral ground until someone drags a sofa across it. Two adults sign the same lease, run different governments from adjacent bedrooms, and discover that the thinnest thing in the apartment is not the drywall but the tolerance for anyone else's rules.

In practice, three forces decide whether a kitchen stays peaceful or becomes a tribunal. Rules are the official script, tidy and finite, good for quiet hours and trash day. Boundaries are private laws, sometimes absolute, occasionally incompatible, rarely negotiated with grace. Expectations live in the fog between them, built from past roommates, cultural habits, and the assumption that vibes count as precedent. When these collide, a living room turns into a micro foreign ministry with everyone claiming veto power over who breathes near the microwave. The sane moves are predictable and underrated. Lead with the written policy, write down agreements, and if values cannot share oxygen, replace debate with distance. Respect ends at the bedroom door and does not travel without a visa.

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AIO for immediately requesting a room change after my roommate told me her rules around guests

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Applied here, a medical student hosted a fiancé for a short visit under university rules while a new roommate announced a categorical no to male guests, including family and old friends. That is not noise or safety; that is atmosphere by fiat. Rather than stage weekend court in the hallway, the student asked housing for a room change and let paperwork do what politeness could not. Different frameworks, different doors, peace by reassignment.
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