'No call-outs or missed shifts for ANY REASON': Newly-hired employee spots red flags in hiring contract

Workers, if you call out from your job, that shouldn't be your responsibility to deal with. Management should have to handle that! 

If you're calling out of work sick, we can go ahead and assume you're not feeling well. (Maybe you're lying in order to do something fun with your friends, in which case, good for you, but this part doesn't apply to you.) Maybe you've got a horrible migraine or a bout of food poisoning that has got you keeled over. So why in the world would management expect you to get your phone out and start messaging all your coworkers to see if they can cover your shift? Although some places do insist upon this, it's just an easy way for managers to get out of doing a basic tenant of their job. 

This place is straight-up banning their workers from calling out. That is a super-silly way of dealing with it! Obviously people are going to call out for any number of reasons, and if you just fire them every time, you're going to have like a 900% turnover each year. 

Next, check out the story of the employees who got petty revenge on 6 phone reps who wouldn't stop blowing up their line: 'I explained that we didn't have 500 mobile [phone] accounts.'