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‘I’ve never had to deal with someone like this before’: Lead employee deals with a 40-something coworker who floods chat with emoji-filled pings and needless questions, so she sets strict boundaries

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  • My 40-Year Old Coworker is Actually a 15-Year Old

    frustrated woman with her hands on her face in front of a laptop. next to a quote that reads: "I just don't have the energy to respond so I just leave her on read"
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  • Sorry for the long post.. I (26F) am the lead over a coworker in her mid-40s. I've been at this company almost 5 years, and she's been here a little over 3.
  • Every single day she pings me multiple times on teams (5-6+ messages) about different things. It's never just quick, simple questions.. it's huge paragraphs, screenshots, and a mix of venting and asking things she already knows the answer to.
  • She overuses emojis and puts "..." after almost every sentence, which comes off condescending like she's dumbing things down for me. For example, she'll write things like:
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  • frustrated woman looking at a laptop
  • "Do we need to... invoice as a warranty... or do we need to... invoice... as a normal service call." Her questions are usually vague, but when I answer them, instead of just saying "okay" or just not responding at all, she'll say things like:
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  • "LOL I knew that, just wanted to confirm → Why ask me then?? And WHAT IS SO " | FUNNY? It feels defensive every single time and the overuse of the laughing emoji should be illegal at her grown age.
  • Not sure if it's because I'm 20 years younger than her but have a higher position so being condescending makes her feel better? A lot of the time, she'll also respond with "LOL" after I answer simple question of hers.
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  • It's bizarre to me. She also complains about every little obstacle she runs into. I get that work can be frustrating, but she vents to me CONSTANTLY then follows up with "I just wanted to vent... ." It's draining.
  • frustrated woman looking at a laptop
  • For example, yesterday she asked me if I needed to review a work order a 2nd time (all leads have to review work orders over $10k). I didn't see her message right away, but when I went to review it later, she had already invoiced it anyway.
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  • When I replied, "well it's already been invoiced, but no, a 3rd review isn't needed," instead of just leaving it at that, she responded, "it was already reviewed 2 times though "Again... why even ask me if you were just going to do it anyway?
  • I hate feeling like someone is waiting on me, so I usually stop what I'm doing to answer her right away. But lately I've started muting her notifications because it's giving me anxiety and distracting me from my workload.
  • I genuinely dread opening my messages now because I know it'll be her either complaining, fishing for validation, or asking me something she clearly already knows the answer to.
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  • I'm wondering if anyone has any methods to cope with something like this? I've never had to deal with someone like this before. Should I just ignore her unless it's a true work question?
  • I used to answer every message she sent but lately I just haven't had the energy to respond so I've been leaving her on read and she can see that since it's on Teams.
  • Sometimes she'll send another message when she sees I don't answer. EDIT: I have ignored her messages and only answer at certain points of the day. When she asks me questions, I've tried asking her what she thinks she should do.
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  • I've also told her she should trust herself more. I'm just not sure if there's another way I should go about this. EDIT #2: She has made it a point to make sure everyone knows she has owned multiple of her own businesses before.
  • She acts as a know it all and often time talks poorly about anyone that slightly inconveniences her. She's not at all insecure in the slightest.

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