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    Woman kicked out of hotel by friend Anna and her fling Ben on her own birthday trip, ends up alone in a hostel, and decides to cut ties: ‘She just carried on with her plans’

    A birthday trip abroad should be easy to celebrate. Instead it became the sort of awkward survival exercise usually reserved for group projects and family dinners. The hotel room, initially promised as a gift, turned into a stage where one person's comfort mattered while the supposed guest of honor was quietly pushed out. The final result was predictable. The broke student found themselves booking a hostel while the happy couple enjoyed the luxury. A birthday gift rebranded itself as an inconvenience the moment it interfered with someone else's plans.

    This is what friendship often looks like when tested. People make promises with enthusiasm, then treat those promises like soft guidelines the second they collide with desire, passion, or cheap self-interest. 

    Author image for Etai Eshet Etai Eshet
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    • AITA for refusing to spend time with my friend and her fling on our trip after she pushed me out of the hotel?

      woman lying alone in bunk bed in a hostel setting
      via Curated Lifestyle

      Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

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    • Suddenly the generous gift has strings attached, the dependable friend is reimagined as a burden, and the entire situation is rewritten so the wronged party must either swallow their disappointment or leave quietly. Sessions of gaslighting get dressed up as compromise, where the offer to “choose” is really an exercise in nudging you toward the only choice that keeps everyone else comfortable.

    • I (mid 20s, student) went on a short trip abroad with my friend "Anna" and her fling "Ben." The plan was to go to a big music festival, then stay in a hotel for two nights.
      via HourPerception6872
    • Weeks ago Anna told me the hotel would be her birthday gift for me, since I couldn't really afford it. I thought that was super sweet and I was excited to finally relax after camping at the festival.
      via HourPerception6872
    • When we got to the hotel, Anna and Ben went to check in while I waited. Then Anna came down and brought me up, and suddenly she started saying the room was too small,
      via HourPerception6872
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    • happy couple in bathrobes smiling in a spacious hotel room
      via Getty Images For Unsplash+

      Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

    • that Ben was uncomfortable because it was a double not a triple, etc. She asked me what I wanted to do, but kept listing all the reasons it wouldn't work.
      via HourPerception6872
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    • I said I was fine sharing, but it was clear they weren't. I felt super awkward and ended up offering to book another place myself (even though I'm broke, while both of them make way more than me).
      via HourPerception6872
    • I told her I was hurt, and she just said "oh it's Ben❞ like it wasn't really her decision. I've known her way longer than he has.
      via HourPerception6872
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    • So I booked a hostel. Only after that did she and Ben say "oh you can stay, you don't have to leave." But by then I already felt unwanted so I left.
      via HourPerception6872
    • happy couple in bathrobes smiling in a spacious hotel room
      via Getty Images For Unsplash+

      Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

    • Later she texted saying I should still come out with them and that she'd pay me for the hostel. I said no, I didn't want forced money and I didn't feel like hanging out anymore.
      via HourPerception6872
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    • I skipped the festival with them and did my own thing instead (which was actually nice). The next day she apologized but also told me it was "not fair" that I wasn't doing stuff with them,
      via HourPerception6872
    • and that she didn't want to be alone (but she literally had Ben with her). Now she keeps pushing to meet for a drink and "end things on a good note."
      via HourPerception6872
    • The part that really hurt me is that she didn't even ask where I was staying or if I was safe after leaving. She just carried on with her plans.
      via HourPerception6872
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    • I feel like I had every right to take a step back, but now I feel kind of guilty because this was supposed to be "our trip."
      via HourPerception6872

    • Trips with friends reveal this dynamic quickly. You find out who thinks loyalty is situational, who folds the second romance enters the chat, and who is willing to watch you walk away without asking where you will sleep. The memories of the festival may fade. The memory of being treated as disposable never does.

    • So, AITA for not wanting to hang out with her anymore on this trip and just focusing on myself?
      via HourPerception6872

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