Empathetic 28-year-old boyfriend with financially struggling girlfriend offers to stop doing 50/50 and pay for her, she gets defensive: “I don’t want to feel less independent”

Welcome back ladies and gentlemen of the internet. With modern dating, and the structure of traditional dating being dismantled and sloppily put back together in the past however many years, there's been quite some back and forth debate about paying in the relationship. Some women put this expectation as the most important thing in the relationship, and a man who doesn't pay is a "red flag." Other women feel deeply uncomfortable when a man pays for them, and they'd rather go 50/50 to feel like they aren't being groomed, or relying on their partner. Men also differ on their views. Some men insist on paying, it's part of their masculinity. Other men are happy to forsake tradition to save some extra cash.

I think none of it is wrong, it's just about what the person wants. I absolutely love when a man pays for me, it feels like I'm being treated. However, I don't mind going 50/50. Financial situations should be taken into account.

In the story below, the couple has always done 50/50 with groceries, dates, and everything. The boyfriend notices his girlfriend having to dip into her savings just to keep up, so he offers to pay for more, but gets a defensive response from her.

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AITA for telling my girlfriend I don't want to split bills 50/50 anymore?

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This man seems so sweet to consider his girlfriend's financial situation. It seems like he's coming at it with a lot of love for her, and a lot of empathy. I understand her wanting to feel independent, but she has to recognize how incredible this gesture is.
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Empathetic 28-year-old boyfriend with financially struggling girlfriend offers to stop doing 50/50 and pay for her, she gets defensive: “I don’t want to feel less independent”

AITA for telling my girlfriend I don't want to split bills 50/50 anymore?

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Empathetic 28-year-old boyfriend with financially struggling girlfriend offers to stop doing 50/50 and pay for her, she gets defensive: “I don’t want to feel less independent”

AITA for telling my girlfriend I don't want to split bills 50/50 anymore?

Tags

Also From CheezCake

20 Romantic Classical Art Memes Illustrating the Ins and Outs of Intimacy for Medieval Maidens (May 23, 2025)