18-year-old stepdaughter schools stepmother after she tries to declare that she's her "real" mother now: 'Technically I’m your mom now. I’ve done more mothering in the last 8 years than she did in 10'

The last thing anyone wants to hear ever is that you think you've taken the place of someone who they tragically lost. No matter what rationalization or reasoning you put behind it, it's never going to be received well or lightly. You should never seek to replace someone but rather supplement their life and relationships. Particularly when you're a stepparent dealing with young persons who need guidance and who have lost a parent, you can't just expect to step in and take that parent's place even if "step" is technically in your title.

It's a bit like joining a new workplace, you need to step lightly at first and let the relationship and mutual respect naturally develop. Demanding that this relationship develop or merely declaring that it has been developed is completely missing the point and really begs the question as to what your true motives here are.

So, of course, when this stepmother declared that she was more of a mother to her stepdaughter than her own mother had ever been, the thing is that the only reason she had been around for longer than the girl's own mother was that the girl's mother had tragically passed away when she was young. This would be one thing if her mother had been disinterested and a bad parent and the stepmother had stepped in to fill that role, but then if the stepmother was really that kind of altruistic person and selfless person who just wanted the best for a child, this conversation would have never been taking place in the first place.

So, although harsh, the stepdaughter's response was more than fitting, as commenters in this thread seemed to agree. See the original story followed by some key comments below.