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19-year-old refuses to babysit half-siblings, father guilt-trips her despite cheating on her mom and destroying the family dynamic: “I really don’t care about them”

Cheating is one of the worst, most heart-breaking experiences a person can go through. I don't care how strong someone thinks they are, or how detached they want to be. When you're in love with someone, when you see each other growing old together, when you feel so certain about the person, the deception of infidelity can be earth shattering. As if your entire life is flipped upside down, like you're in a surreal nightmare that you never wanted to have. 

There are so many nuances that go along with cheating. Of course, everyone makes mistakes, but it's completely individual if the couple chooses to stay together. If you do choose to forgive and take back a cheater, it takes years of therapy, healing, and grieving to get to a point where your relationship is normal again. Psychologist Esther Perel swears that for the right couple, under the right circumstances, cheating can rebirth the relationship into something even sweeter than before. 

If you're curious about a case of cheating that didn't last, scroll below for the full story. 

Author image for Briana Viser Briana Viser
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  • 01

    AITA for refusing to babysit my half-siblings and telling my dad I’m not his “backup mom”?

    "I'm not your backup mom"

    This image is for illustration only, and the subjects are models; the image does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

    via Nikodash from Getty Images / Canva
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  • 02
    Hi Reddit, I (19F) think I might have gone too far, but I need some outside perspective.
    via Reddit
  • 03
    For context, my parents divorced when I was 12 because my dad cheated on my mom with a younger woman, Emily (now 31F). It was a messy, ugly divorce, and my relationship with my dad has been strained ever since. He married Emily pretty quickly, and they now have three kids under 5. Ever since the kids were born, he's been
    via Reddit
  • 04
    constantly asking me to "help out" with babysitting.
    via Reddit
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  • 05
    I live with my mom and go to college full-time while working part-time to cover my expenses. Despite that, my dad calls me almost every week, begging me to come over and "bond with my siblings" by babysitting. He says Emily is overwhelmed and needs a break. I honestly don't care-l never wanted siblings, and I'm still
    via Reddit
  • 06
    Cheezburger Image 10467796992

    This image is for illustration only, and the subjects are models; the image does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

    via fizkes from Getty Images Pro / Canva
  • 07
    not over the fact that his affair blew up our family. I've told him I'm busy with school and work, but he keeps guilt-tripping me, saying things like, "Family takes care of family."
    via Reddit
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  • 08
    Last weekend, he called again, practically demanding I babysit because Emily had a "mental breakdown." I lost it. I told him, "I'm not your backup mom. You chose to have more kids, and that's not my responsibility." He got quiet and then said, "I thought you were more mature than this," before hanging up on me.
    via Reddit
  • 09
    Now, both he and Emily have been sending me messages, calling me selfish and saying that I'm abandoning my family. My grandma even chimed in, saying I should "help my father in his time of need." But I feel like he's just trying to dump his problems on me because he made bad choices.
    via Reddit
  • 10
    My mom thinks I did the right thing, but now half my family is pred at me. AITA for refusing to help and saying what I did?
    via Reddit

  • If I were the protagonist, I also wouldn't babysit these children. They're not related to her, she doesn't like her step-mother. She was forced into this situation because of her dad's selfish decisions to betray. There's no justification for it, it's not a forgivable act, and she doesn't need to help them at all. 

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  • 11
    Artistic-Tough-7764 NTA. Guilt trips only work if your bags are packed. "I thought you were more mature than this," before hanging up on me. - I think that is in the dictionary under "irony"
    via u/Artistic-Tough-7764
  • 12
    One-... NTA When Emily tells you you are selfish for abandoning your family, you can tell her, "Not nearly as selfish as you and my dad are for breaking up my family by lying and cheating and having an affair." She's got some nerve.
    via u/One-Low1033
  • 13
    FAMILY

    This image is for illustration only, and the subjects are models; the image does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

    via WOKANDAPIX from pixabay / Canva

  • 19-years-old is such a young age to have their life so unwittingly affected by the horrors of infidelity. It's something she'll carry with her the rest of her life, and may even be a scar when she starts to enter relationships herself. These things have a way of staying with us forever. 

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  • 14
    Wow! I wanted to thank everyone for the awards and upvotes!
    via u/One-Low1033
  • 15
    Main-Yogurtcloset242 NTA. The nerve of him to explode YOUR family then expect you to pick up the slack with the new one he went out & created behind your mom's back. Tell him Emily was the answer to all his
    via u/Main-Yogurtcloset242
  • 16
    problems so she can continue to be that. Then tell your grandmother it's not your fault she raised a POS & help out "family" herself.
    via u/Main-Yogurtcloset242
  • 17
    lurninandlurkin NTA Seems Emily's breakdown didn't impact her ability to text you with nasty comments. You sound like you have enough on your plate with
    via u/lurninandlurkin
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  • 18
    study, work and rest time, if they want a break, they should hire a sitter.
    via u/lurninandlurkin
  • 19
    shammy_dammy NTA. No, you did not go too far. You went far enough. Those other family members can step in now. Tell them to stop with the messages or you'll block them.
    via u/shammy_dammy
  • 20
    Hollowismyname Seriously? He says "family takes care of family" while he blew up his entire family by cheating? Don't be their lil Cinderella. You have no obligation. I have a dad that tried to guilt trip me into taking care of all their animals
    via u/Hollowismyname
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  • 21
    while him and his NEW family went on several vacations and I was not once asked to join, not even if I paid for myself. When I finally mustered up the courage to say no, he threatened to euthanize my favorite dog. I called my therapist and had an
    via u/Hollowismyname
  • 22
    Bid_Unable family should have been taking care of a family instead of a mistress. NTA live your life.
    via u/Bid_Unable

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