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    31 Hideous Recipes from the Past That Are Crimes Against the Culinary Arts

    Listen, I'm no chef. I can scramble some eggs, whip up a decent pasta, maybe even bake a basic cake if the occasion calls for it. It's not much, but I've never claimed to be a culinary genius. The people who published these recipes, however? They did. They were supposed to know what goes with what, how to make something edible—dare I say, delicious.

    And yet, here we are, staring down the gelatinous abyss of things like a molded jellied fish bouillon stuffed with lobster tails, capers, ripe olives, and hard-boiled eggs. Or worse: Cottage Cheese Tuna Salad. Why? On what planet do these ingredients belong together? Who looked at these combos and thought, "Yep, that's dinner!"

    Prepare yourself, because as you scroll through these recipes, you might notice me slowly unraveling. This list isn't just bad food—it's gibberish food, like throwing random words together that don't form a sentence. It's chaos on a plate, and I just… I can't.

    Author image for John Summers John Summers
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    • 01

      CUP Steak Pudding

      CUP Steak Puddings. RECIPE You will be charmed with those day puddings-so wonderfully light and digestible when made with 'Ators The novelty of a small pidding for each person makes a refreshing change. and so only that you are able to prepare je the right pantry without risk of running shon a living wefullefen ATORA The Good BEEF SUET
      via Quackie Sue

      "Steak" and "Pudding" shouldn't be in the same sentence

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    • 02

      Gooseberry sparkle

      Gooseberry sparkle
      via Quackie Sue
    • 03

      Shrimp Tree

      Cheezburger Image 10452199424
      via Quackie Sue

      For some reason I can hear the song "Day-O"

    • 04

      Tuna & Jell-O Pie

      Cheezburger Image 10452199168
      via Quackie Sue

      Goes together like peanut butter and ketchup

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    • 05

      Rouen Duckling Sevillane

      Cheezburger Image 10452198656
      via Quackie Sue

      Not enough olives

    • 06

      Crab Aspic

      Cheezburger Image 10452199936
      via Quackie Sue

      Nothing like a Crab, Jell-o, lettuce, mushroom, boiled egg cube

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    • 07

      Fish Dip (?)

      Cheezburger Image 10452199680
      via Quackie Sue

      Nothing says "Don't ever come to dinner again" like this green and yellow fish dip

    • 08

      Terrine of garden vegetables

      Cheezburger Image 10452200192
      via Quackie Sue

      It has everything you never wanted

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    • 09

      Centipede Crab

      Cheezburger Image 10452200448
      via Quackie Sue

      Thanks, I didn't like sleeping anyway

    • 10

      LOBSTER ASPIC

      ESCOFFIER (1846-1935) From apprentice in his ancle's restaurant in Nice, Escofler rese so the lefty position of master chef of his day. His collaboration with Ciser Rits resulted in some of the world's most luxurious hotels-the Ritz in Paris, London and New York among them. LOBSTER ASPIC (Aspic de Homard) This present-day alaptation of Escofher's masterpie is made with a mold of jellied court bosillon, filed with lobster talls, ripe alives, eepers, hard-cooked eg Recipe begins on page kookychow.
      via Quackie Sue

      A mold of jellied fish bouillon, filled with lobster tails, ripe olives, capers, and hard-boiled eggs

    • 11

      Stuffed nightmare fish

      www.midcenturymem.com 2011
      via Quackie Sue
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    • 12

      Cottage Cheese Tuna Salad

      Cook cool with Borden's Cottage Cheese" says Elsie, the Borden Cose You'll find it easy to prepare delicious "no cook," "no boke" dishes with Borden's Cottage Cheese. It's the cool, thrifty, easy way to get the energy you need for summer...Boeden's Cottage Cheese is power packed with pure protein Why not try this salad today? You can make it ahead of time and serve supper at a moment's notio COTTAGE CHEESE TUNA SALAD I package lime gelati 1. package lord's Collage Che cup chopped celery drained
      via Quackie Sue

      Non of those words belong together

    • 13

      The JELL-O Submarine

      Cheezburger Image 10452201216
      via Quackie Sue
    • 14

      Tuna-Cheese-Macaroni-Loaf

      28. Tuna-Cheese-Macaroni-Loaf
      via Quackie Sue
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    • 15

      Polynesian fish

      POLYNESIAN FISH 2omp 1 bike in a moderate Celf is 46
      via Quackie Sue

      I guess I'm canceling my trip to Polynesia

    • 16

      Ham in aspic

      HAM IN ASPIC SUMMERS CARD 13
      via Quackie Sue
    • 17

      Ham-Pig-Thing

      Cheezburger Image 10452202240
      via Quackie Sue

      Don't ask

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    • 18

      Spinach Jell-O?

      Cheezburger Image 10452202752
      via Quackie Sue

      Either that or lawn-mower clippings 

    • 19

      Banana meatloaf. I repeat: Banana Meatloaf

      000
      via Quackie Sue

      Where is the banana you ask? It's mashed in with the mince. And yes, that is a hard-boiled egg inside the meatloaf and yes, that is a lemon and pimento-stuffed olive garnish.

    • 20

      Pineapple and fish... swirl

      Cheezburger Image 10452203264
      via Quackie Sue
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    • 21

      I don't even know anymore

      0000000
      via Quackie Sue

      But those look like sardines 

    • 22

      Lime-Tuna Ring

      Cheezburger Image 10452204032
      via Quackie Sue

      Why do this to people?

    • 23

      Spam Peach Cups

      SPAM FIESTA PEACH CUPS SPAM ...bring California sunshine to winters meals! SAVORY AND SUCCULENT..this broller-easy combination of pure-pock SPAM and golden ding peaches from California Combine... whole SPAM, ground, cup uncooked rolled out, 1 cup milk, the catsup, 1 tsp prepared into ball Shape Place in bellows of 6 canned cling peach halves. Brail....... 10-12 minutes, about 6 inches from fam Extra-good eating because SPAM is the esclave of juicy pork shoulder and mild tender ha SPAM for pork p
      via Quackie Sue

      I'm slowly descending into madness

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    • 24

      Monterey souffle salad with mayo

      MONTEREY SOUFFLE SALAD Quick-easy-a tuna salad treat the new "fast frost" way IT'S REAL MAYONNAISE Die pristi Best Bloods
      via Quackie Sue
    • 25

      Mustard Ring

      106. Mustard Ring
      via Quackie Sue

      Mustard Ring?
      .

      .

      .

      .

      .

      .

      .

      Mustard Ring!

    • 26

      Nope on a plate

      0
      via Quackie Sue

      With extra nope on the side

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    • 27

      Hearty fish cakes

      Convenience Fish 8 HEARTY FISH CAKES Weight Watchers Recipe Cards
      via Quackie Sue
    • 28

      Aspic with vegetables, ham and egg

      Cheezburger Image 10452205568
      via Quackie Sue

      What's even the meaning of existing anymore?

    • 29

      Cream cheese frosted melon

      It's a salad! It's a dessert! It's delicious! The frost on the melon is the world's most famous cream cheese... Philadelphia Brand PHILAS SPWIA CREAM CHEESE PHILADELPHIA CREAM CHEESE "KRAFT
      via Quackie Sue

      It's non of the above!

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    • 30

      Make it stop

      Cheezburger Image 10452205824
      via Quackie Sue

      Why put hard boiled egg in everything?!

    • 31

      I'm out

      THERES BRIGHT FLAVOR TO SAVOR IN MIRACLE WHIP Miracle Whip
      via Quackie Sue

      Miracle whip and cream cheese with celery inside a hollowed out head of cabbage is where I draw the line!

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