If you're a parent in America this time of year, odds are you're helping your child pick out their Halloween costume, and they've changed their idea at least 3 times already. Back in the day, we used to just cut some hole in a big white sheet and call ourselves ghosts. Nowadays everyone wants a bespoke costume so they can be some obscure character from a TV show or some kind of skibidi toilet… whatever that means. When I was a kid my mom would just say "You want a Halloween costume? Go roll around in the dirt and call yourself a Hobo."
That wouldn't quite fly these days, but it built character. So if you're a parent who's burnt out on trips to Spirit Halloween, give these tweets a scroll. They will keep you company while you binge eat candy corn and clean pumpkin guts off of your kitchen floors.
