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Woman Hosting Thanksgiving Tells Sister That She Can't Bring Her In-Laws Because The Day Is Reserved For Her In-Laws, Sparking a Family Feud

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    AITA for telling my sister that her in-laws can't come to Thanksgiving at my house, where my mom will meet my fiancé's parents for the first time?
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    My fiancé (33M) and I (31F) are really close with my immediate family (my sister and my mom). We visit them often across the country, take vacations together, etc. My sister's in- laws are also very present. We've spent lots of holidays with them,
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    vacationed together as a group, etc. Since my sister had her first kid a year and a half ago, we've seen them all even more often than usual. All the while, my fiancé's parents and mine have yet to actually meet. They live far
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    away from each other and varying attitudes about precautions made it impractical for us to coordinate a meeting over the last several years. They were actually supposed to meet last Christmas, but then we actually and had to cancel. got
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    Fast forward to now: we had the idea to invite our parents and siblings (and their partners + kids) to our place (a plane ride away for everyone) for Thanksgiving. We're running out of chances to get everyone together before our wedding next spring, so it
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    seems like as good an opportunity as any. Today my sister asked me if her in-laws could come, and I told her that since it's the first time our parents are meeting we don't really think it would be appropriate, so no. I tried to explain
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    it clearly and honestly, but she got angry with me and said "holidays are supposed to be inclusive" and if we're not going to invite her in-laws then maybe she (and her husband and kid) will just stay home and spend the holiday with them instead. AITA for feeling that this particular Thanksgiving plan should be just our families?
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    Rawrsome_Mommy • 14h ago NTA. As the host you get to decide who's invited to your house.
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    cherryblossom1994 • 14h ago NTA She's had years of her family and her in laws at get togethers so she should understand the importance to you too. I would say that I understood their decision and hope their holidays are great too!!! Make sure your Mom knows how important this is to you so your sister doesn't guilt her into not coming.
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    mocha_lattes_ • 14h ago NTA. Tell her you will miss her and her family if they can't make it and you totally understand if she wants to spend this Thanksgiving with her in-laws. Just be overly nice and understanding about it. If she is coming from a good place then she will be sad but understanding. If she is then she is just being entitled and you get the upper hand of her with kindness so no one can fault you.
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    IAndaraB . 14h ago Oof. NTA Does she think that after you get married, all of all of your families are all going to spend every holiday in the same place? Stick to your If she wants to throw a wobbly and not come, that's on her. Shame your fiancee's parents won't meet them, but that's not the point of the arrangement.
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    InitiativeDizzy7517 • 14h ago NTA - Your sister's an if she thinks it's okay for her to invite others to your house. If she wants to invite her ILs, she can invite them to her house. The best response to her ultimatum is "Okay, we'll miss you."
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    Having-hope3594 • 14h ago NTA. Your idea is great. The house could get too crowded with more people. And it could be overwhelming for your future in- laws as well.
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    New-Barnacle4562 14h ago . NTA. It's your home and your special moment. You have every right to decide who you want to share this important introduction with. It's about your comfort and ensuring the event goes as smoothly as possible for your family and your fiancé's.
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    89Rae 12h ago NAH. Families change once spouses and thus ILs show up in the picture. You don't want her ILs present and she and/or her husband aren't interested in spending a holiday without his parents. Just politely tell your sister that you want this to be a small affair but you understand (because you should) if that's not possible for her.
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    • ajaye90 14h ago NTA, it's kind of ridiculous she expects you to include HER in- laws every holiday.
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    . Peony-Pony 14h ago NTA However, your sister and her family may decline your invitation to Thanksgiving if it's inconvenient for them.
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    Ok-Seaworthiness-542 · 11h ago I think your parents should meet before Thanksgiving (even it's a day before) to get the weirdness out of the way. Too much pressure on one day. Then get in-laws could come.
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    . Adjmom • 13h ago NTA. Your sister is being unreasonable. Her in-laws are her in-laws not your family. It's great that your two families get along but she is overstepping. I don't know your to be in-laws but I would be overwhelmed by such a big crowd of strangers.
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    BreezyGofficial • 12h ago Eh. Kind of TA. It's a major holiday. I'm sure her husband wants to spend it with his parents like she wants to spend it with your guys' parents. I'd feel different if it were a different occasion.
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    elsie78 12h ago • NTA. You are hosting, you set the guest list. It is understandable you'd want something low key for their first meeting.

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