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Woman Is Fed Up and Records Toxic MIL's Comments About Her, Husband Takes His Mommy's Side: ‘He turned on me’

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    AITAH for recording my mother-in-law's insults and showing them to my husband?
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    For context, my husband (31m) and I (29f) have been married for three years. Throughout our relationship, his mother, let's call her Jane, has never liked me. She's always making snide remarks and passive-aggressive comments, but she's careful to do it when he isn't around. Whenever I bring it up to him, he says I'm exaggerating or misinterpreting her.
  • 03
    Things came to a head a month ago during a visit to Jane's house. Jane was in top form, making little jabs about my cooking, my job, and even the way I dress. I was at my breaking point, so I decided to take matters into my own hands.
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  • 04
    I started using the voice memo app on my iPhone to record our interactions whenever I was alone with Jane. Over the next few weeks, I managed to capture several of her comments. She said things like, "he must really love you to put up with your cooking," and "Your job is so cute, it must be nice not to have any real responsibilities.”
  • 05
    Last weekend, after Jane left our house from another visit, I decided it was time to show him the truth. I played the recordings for him. He looked stunned and didn't say anything for a few minutes. Then he said he couldn't believe his mom would say those things.
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    But then, instead of being angry at Jane, he turned on me. He accused me of violating his mother's privacy and said I went too far by recording her without her knowledge. He felt betrayed that I didn't talk to him first before resorting to this.
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    I tried to explain that I had talked to him multiple times and he didn't believe me, but he wasn't having it. He packed a bag and went to stay at his parents' house to cool off.
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  • 08
    He is still upset with me and hasn't come home yet. I don't know if I went too far or if this was the wake-up call Jane needed. So, AITAH for recording my mother-in- law's insults and showing them to my husband?
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    EDIT: I posted this in AITA but it got removed. Also thanks to the comments I realized this is my wake up call. Thanks for the support I'll give an update soon.
  • 10
    SquirrellyDog2016 • 15h ago Sorry, I didn't see the other post you made. Based upon what you've said here, your husband has made his choice. He doesn't have your back as he should. Instead, he goes running back to momma. I can guarantee you, no one will ever be good enough for
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  • 11
    her son. She won't change. As a matter of fact, once he tells her you recorded her, she's going to be 10x worse in how she speaks to you. If you want to save your marriage, develop a backbone and tell her off every time she's
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    to you. If that doesn't get her to self-correct, you need to decide if you want to stay in the marriage. Personally, if my husband went running home to momma over something like this, I'd find a good divorce lawyer immediately.
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    . Laquila • 15h ago · Edited 15h ago You shattered his made-up, preferred "reality" and showed him it was full of . That's why he's angry and using the excuse that you "violated his mommy's privacy". Oh boo hoo! No, he preferred it like it was, with you putting up with her which he
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    very likely knew about, because he knows what she's like. But it was easier, more peaceful for HIM, for you to just let yourself be disrespected and put down, than for him to stand up for you. Far too awkward for him to have words with his mommy. She might
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    get mad at him, and he can't have that! Nooooo! You just highlighted his lack of spine, his enabling, the reality of him being a weak little mommy's boy who won't stand up to her. Ugh.
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    Good for you. Him saying you should have talked to him first, before resorting to his? LOL! He would have told you not to, because he knew it would show his precious mommy to be the nasty cow she is, shattering his deluded "reality". If you can leave, do so. How pathetic this man must be. What a turn off. NTA.
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  • 17
    . IrishTempest50 • 14h ago If you take him back, he will always treat you like this. It will get worse. Your husband showed you where is loyalty lies. It is not with you or for you. He will always choose them/her over you.
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    Now, do you believe that you deserve how he is treating you? I don't think so, neither does the other commenters. You do not deserve to be treated with such blatant disrespect. Time to change the locks and get a lawyer. Do it now. Start packing his things. Put them all in one spot. (the Garage) Polish up your spine and take a stand. I am so sorry that he has done this to you. He is a spineless twit.
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    SnooWords4839 14h ago • Wow! Leave him with mommy! Save those recordings for when MIL blames you for the divorce.
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  • 20
    RJack151 14h ago NTA. Tell hubby that you will be filing for divorce. And you did not sign up to be with a momma's boy.
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    Comprehensive-Sun954 14h ago Sorry darling, but it's you who needs the wake up call. You got yourself a certified mummy's boy there. They don't change, ever.
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    . star_b_nettor 14h ago. NTA He knew what his mother was doing. He choose to defend her by playing innocent. That he got mad at you when you had proof shows who he chooses.
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  • 23
    Funny-City9891 · 10h ago Jumping on the fact that you recorded her is simply deflecting. When it came time to pick a team he chose team mommy. Lesson learned. You can and will be more discerning in future relationships. Cut bait now.
  • 24
    Old-AF • 10h ago Let him stay with his Mom. Forever.

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