It's the holiday season, which once meant that you'd venture forth into the world to carefully select gifts for all your loved ones, making sure to get everyone something that they truly desired but wouldn't have bought (or even have been able to find) for themselves— ensuring that they know how much you appreciate them and how special they are in your life. For every father in the world, that's apparently a new shirt and tie for the office and a single pack of boxers to last him until next year.
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Nowadays, there's not much venturing forth going on; everything is a few clicks away and shows up on your doorstep a few days later. We might want to argue that this has taken some of the magic and thought out of the whole process, but that just comes across as being a bit curmudgeonly. Besides, everything is so readily accessible that we don't really have to want anything that we can reasonably afford.
Anyways, the point of all of this is that all of this increased online ordering during the holiday season also makes this time of year a haven for porch pirates, who pursue the neighborhood looking for something—anything—that they can pinch off other people's doorsteps. Unluckily, this woman had a porch-pirate neighbor who kept pinching the packages off her porch. But the neighbor was in for a surprise when they stole and opened her latest package, discovering an eight-legged surprise inside.
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