'He is bug eyed and asked me how many tickets I was planning on submitting': Data analyst is denied access to their database, sends IT team help desk tickets for each of their 400+ clients

This data analyst wasn't able to access data… what did their workplace expect them to do all day long? 

Communication between departments at an office can be a struggle sometimes. This is especially true if the person works at a large company. When there are hundreds of employees, even simple tasks may have to go through a dozen workers before it can be started. Sometimes it seems like just to get one task done, five meetings have to happen first. This kind of red tape can really slow people down at their jobs. Then, of course, sometimes there are just miscommunications that have to be fixed the hard way. U/node_of_ranvier knows that all too well after a strange issue with the IT department at their job. 

Even if you don't know what a data analyst does, you can make an educated guess that they spend their days analyzing data. So what is that person supposed to do at work all day if they can't access any of said data? Well, the OP found out one day at their job as they faced off with an IT department who seemingly didn't understand the role. You can check out their whole tale of malicious compliance below. Then, take a look at this person's insane Halloween rules, such as requesting trick or treaters don't wear "outfits that are frightening to dogs."