Good morning students, and welcome to Cuddle History 101. Today we will be learning about the Cuddle Wars of 1639-1648, between Meowlandia and Wooferonia. The catalyst for these wars was a dispute between His Borkiness, Prince Labradon of Wooferonia, and Her Meowjesty, Queen Hissandra of Meowlandia, in which neither would give any ground over whose nation was the cuddliest.
This dispute continued with angry letters between the two, moving on to elaborately derpy animal pranks, and peaked when a pillow fight got out of hand, leading to the Royal Army of Wooferonia's break room being entirely covered in ethically sourced duck feathers. Enraged, the Wooferonian Royal Army led a pillow siege of the Meowlandian Castle, which was eventually broken with the help of the Capybara Nomads' peace talks.
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Just as everything in life requires balance, so too does cuddling. It is not about being the one who receives the most cuddles, but rather giving and receiving cuddles equally, that brings forth the true harmony of cuddles.
Though hugs aren't technically cuddles, they are definitely a part of the process and a great way to chain in more cuddles. Just ask these two Olympic cuddlers, who are capable of cuddling for hours on end by chaining in a few hugs every now and then.
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