'She is refusing because she thinks it's immoral': Boss refuses to give employee a job recommendation because they're married

When asking someone to be a reference for you, you'd better be darn sure they're willing to say positive things about you. 

Although it can be awkward to ask, having someone who will testify to your character and work ethic is really important as you're job searching. Lots of companies won't ask for references until you're already deep into the interview process. By that point, a reference can absolutely make or break your prospects of working for that company. 

While I've never done so myself, quite a few people seem to be fine with faking their references too. Back before the internet was as far-reaching as it is today, it was easy to tell your friend to "pretend to be my boss Carol and say good things about me." It's a super-risky move that should only be done if you're totally out of options, or you're a teenager trying to get a retail job, with nothing to lose. 

This person has a similar issue with gaining a reference. They have mixed their business life and personal life together. As the OP writes, they're currently pretty miserable working "12-hour days in the sun" in a parking lot, dealing mainly with rich jerks. It's a job with nowhere to go, and the OP has decided they want to move on to a different position. 

But their wife is also their boss. She's in a receptionist/secretary type of job at the same company. But now that OP wants a new gig, they have nowhere to turn for a good reference. Their wife believes that it's wrong to act as a reference. I think that in this circumstance it wouldn't be inappropriate to list her as a reference, as long as it was made crystal clear that they're together. But the OP should really try and find at least three other references that are stronger, because it's still not the best look to have your spouse be your reference. 

Next up, this guy has a plan to make money, but it's as full of holes as a slice of Swiss cheese.